September 29, 2012 by Marj Hatzell
I actually had a dream last night! For realz, even! See, I managed to get 4 straight hours, uninterrupted before the Bugaboo woke up. Then he stayed awake until 5:30, just as I was downing my first cup of. Which meant I couldn’t fall back to sleep because I was hopped up on
These late night parties have grown more and more frequent and it is starting to take its toll on our entire family. Even the dogs. They get confused and think it’s time to go out and chase squirrels. Bug Boy stirs awake and is bleary-eyed when it’s time to get up for school. The Guy I Live With has taken to sleeping on the couch. Bugaboo and I hunker down in our bedroom, where he can watch tv, eat snacks, drink his juice and take as many showers as his little heart desires. I’ve gotten it down to a science, y’all.
Bugaboo has had his ups and down the past few weeks. I feel like we’re getting close from a behavior standpoint but this exhaustion, HOLY CRUD, y’all. I can’t keep my eyes open for a second. I’m sooooooo tired. I have been getting naps but naps don’t make up for regular, uninterrupted sleep. Which is what I need desperately. Yeah, I know, you are tired of hearing about it. But that’s my life. It pretty much revolves around Bugaboo and his sleep schedule. (Oh, thank FSM our Sleep-and-Eat weekend comes up soon!)
I think the thing that messes me up the most is the fact that if I am SLEEPING during the day, I’m CLEARLY not getting anything else accomplished. I fight off those pangs of guilt that tell me I’m wasting time or could be doing ______________ (insert chore I haven’t done on a regular basis in six months here). I know, I know, I need to sleep! The house work can wait! Except the house work ALWAYS waits. It never gets done. EVER. I dusted yesterday for the first time in __________ (insert amount of time I’m embarrassed to tell you about here).
I’m stuck in survival mode. Doing what I have to do to in order to eke by another day, another week, another month. Lather, rinse, repeat. A friend stated the other day that she was concerned with the effects of this lack of sleep on my overall health. Yep. Me, too. But honestly, there isn’t much we can do, besides tweak Bugaboo’s meds. And I’ll keep grabbing sleep whenever and wherever I am able.
Also? I will be 40 in a month. As in, forty-freaking-years-old. I don’t know how I feel about that.