You Win Some, You Lose Some


August 8, 2012 by Marj Hatzell

Sometimes I feel as though the longer I’m at this parenting gig, the more it’s like a battle.

Uphill, both ways, in the snow.

Often we’ll take a step forward, only to take a step back. Or so I perceive.

Par exemple:

The toilet training, it goes well. As in, it’s finished. Bugaboo is toilet trained. He is dry when he wakes up most mornings. This has both pros and cons, since he knows how to hold it better than a camel and sometimes leaks on the way to the toilet, peeing on the wall next to the toilet.

Or on the kitchen floor.

Or he’ll just stand at the top of the steps and pee down. Because it’s SO! FUNNY! TO! WATCH!

Or he’ll pee into his hand and CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP stim in it, because clapping his hands in liquids is the new pink.

He has been doing much better taking his fiber supplement and his meds and for the most part, has been a giggly, fun joy to be around. We finally got it down to a science.

Until I discovered this weekend he “fake” sips. Holds it in his mouth and spits it out, even. Or dumps the whole cup in the sink when I’m not looking, fills it back up with water or hides the cup in the most obscure location ever. This causes Momma to have heartburn.

In other words, the past few days I’ve gotten notes home about his hyperactivity, his mood swings, maniacal laughter and the fact that he is bouncing off the walls all BOING BOING BOING.

Because he isn’t getting his meds, you see.

And then I wondered why he woke up every single night last week

Every time we think we’ve got it down, he figures something else out. Now tell me, how accurate is an IQ test if a child with an IQ of 42 can connive, sneak and figure this stuff out?

I’m thinking it isn’t so accurate.

Then there’s the iPad.  Let’s just say it has helped him.

Sure, he likes playing games and listening to his music.But he’s also able to navigate 99% of it all by his lonesome. And he is reading sight words.


And he has mastered several games and tutorials. He can complete patterns. Match letters, colors, numbers. It’s a sight to behold.

As for the Bug Boy, we’re surviving the summer, he’s been busy with activities, diving, fencing and the like. And this week a computer camp. I walked in to drop him off the first day and sign him in and noticed it’s about fifteen boys and two girls and they are all SCREAMING Asperger’s.

Funny how that works, no?

Like when we tried a local boys group and I felt like I was walking into the Asperger’s support club. They have this knack for finding one another.

And yesterday I got a real dose of YOU SUCK AS A PARENT when I ran him to his class and we were running late and he said (as we arrived), “Uh. Mom? You forgot my meds.”

Not just any meds. The stimulant.

And his “keep my mood even so I don’t cry and throw things” med. The one that keeps his OCD in check? That one.

And he can’t have it after a certain point in the day because NO SLEEP FOR YOU!

So he spent the last hours of the day bringing echolalia back for good times sake, complete with movie scripting and saying the same word over and over at different octaves. For eight hours.

But don’t despair, he also deemed it necessary to watch forty-odd version of Kashmir to see how each one ENDED on yootoob. And he couldn’t just watch the ends. Oh no. Some versions, though thirteen minutes long, were quite intriguing and he had to watch them in their entirety. Because starting in the middle means he misses the first part and just watching the end is out of context and WHY YES, WE DO HAVE TO HAVE EVEN NUMBERS OF EVERYTHING. AND MY HANDS ARE DIRTY, I AM WASHING THEM AGAIN WHILE I SING PAYPHONE. IN ACAPELLA.

Somehow, I didn’t stab baby kittens today.

8 thoughts on “You Win Some, You Lose Some

  1. Flannery says:

    My kid is totally good at sneaking and conniving too, go figure. I guess the upside is that while he’s distracted with a 13-minute video, you have time to down a shot. Or two.

  2. jimreeve says:

    My son also holds his pee until he’s about to burst. And if someone is on the toilet, and you hear him running up the stairs, you’d better move quick or be prepared for a shower. And my son is a whiz on the iPad like your son. He knows so much about it he shows his teachers new tricks. But our kids are lacking in some areas? Sure, you just keep thinking that.

  3. She Started It says:

    Yea yea yea for the sight words. Boo hoo for the pee-holding!

  4. Hope says:

    after 2 recent hour long sessions doing various and sundry testing with a psychologist I decided that there are really no decent tools out there to measure what our kids are capable of. I think one of our most important jobs as moms is to constantly remind others that our children are capable of doing amazing things (often when we least expect it)! My son did Taekwondo the other day for the first time and broke a piece of wood with his own hand! And the coolest thing…the place has FAMILY lessons! how cool is that! … Awesome news on the sight words and progress in general! I really need to get an I Pad for both my kiddos…

  5. Bec Oakley says:

    Hey there! I was sitting here wondering why you hadn’t posted in forever… then remembered I had to unsubscribe after some WordPress snafu that messed with all my subscriptions.

    Anyhoo, hello! It *is* weird how they find each other, isn’t it? Without fail, if the school told me my son had a ‘friend’ it would always end up being the other autistic kid in the class.

  6. kantal113 says:

    Hang in there, mama. xoxo

  7. Janet says:

    Oh my goodness – could I write about little boys, pee and stimming. And I have the mattress that needs replacing, and only sub-flooring in my bedroom to show for it. I hardly notice a pee smell anymore.

    And the iPad is WONDERFUL for him. I can’t wait until he figures out how to add his own words in Proloquo2go. He will only let someone quickly show him a part of a game. He really does figure it out by himself.

    School started yesterday (Wednesday) and he has a new classroom teacher, new speech/path (unexpected) and a sub sped teacher (2 1/2 weeks left in maternity leave). They were all warned about how he is an expert at acting cute, charming and really dumb – when he is really cute, charming and super smart. (The non-verbal does help the dumb act!)

  8. Let me just generalize (because I have one with autism so I’m allowed). These kids could all be politicians. No matter the IQ score that can all figure out how to do exactly what they want.

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