All I Want For Christmas is my Two Front Floors (Refloored)


December 15, 2011 by Marj Hatzell

Naturally, because recent events weren’t stressful enough, Bugaboo has been on a bit of a downswing behaviorally. The bitings and aggressions came back with a vengeance at precisely the same time my father became ill two weeks ago. So, in addition to running back and forth to the hospital, I came each night to a miserable, hungry (but won’t eat), screeching banshee of a child. Who wouldn’t go to bed or sleep. And he was stim, stim, stimmerific. Like, super duper stimmy. Stimmiest ever.

Also? Wasn’t sleeping. Awake every freaking night, wandering around, looking for food (but wouldn’t eat it) and his bowels were a mess. Totally off schedule, like. NOT. COOL.

This weekend (funeral!) he stayed up until midnight one night and woke up four hours later. Sunday he went to bed at ten, woke up at midnight and never went back down. Doooooods. He’s doing it on purpose to see just how strong a woman I really am, right? AMIRIGHT?.

The good news? His bowels are back on track, he has been “regular” and he has been eating. This translates to “sleeping better because my tummy is full.” Which translates to mommy getting a full night of sleep THREE DAYS IN A ROW. Holy crud!  Sign of the Apocalypse!  Y’all! Take cover now! THREE DAYS, PEOPLE. Happy Christmas to me! WOO! Which means it’s exactly the right time for Bug Boy to be throwing himself on the ground sobbing over the one minute difference on his wrist watch and my clock when it’s time for bed. Every night this week. Sigh.

And naturally, because the planets are aligned for me or something, Bristol, the most mellow dog in the whole universe, picked last night to have an upset stomach and hork up suspicious food stuffs and grass on all three floors of my house.

On the only remaining carpet in our house.

But wait!  There’s more! Bugaboo was in stealth pee mode again and made sure he outdid Bristol, because Doctor Destructo CANNOT BE OUTDONE, YO. He is the master at destruction.So all three floors, plus on furniture and freshly made beds and even on the wall in his room. He is truly gifted.

I don’t know if I mentioned this before or anything, but I am REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY happy that we are replacing our floors. Even if it is taking a while, moving at snails pace, etc. I am a wee bit impatient to get it done because steam cleaning carpets sucks. I mean, I have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD and stuff so I don’t know why I am complaining. Ahem.I mean, I’m a spoiled, bored housewife and my main purpose in life is to write blogs complaining about poo, my dogs and my backyard (it’s opposite day).

Hey! I didn’t mention my backyard!It’s raining. Two dogs. ‘Nuff said. Oh, and pee. I write about that, too.

And yet you all keep coming back. Thanks for that.




2 thoughts on “All I Want For Christmas is my Two Front Floors (Refloored)

  1. Janet says:

    I understand. Hugs!

  2. RuthWells says:

    Oh honey. Hope it gets better soon.

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