December 7, 2011 by Marj Hatzell
If I had a dollar for every time I heard, “How do you do it?” or “I don’t know how you do it!” I would be filthy, stinking, rotten rich. Like, think Oprah rich. Yeah, I hear it quite often.
Anyways, things have been stressful the past two weeks, let alone the past few months. I feel like I’m getting slammed on all sides. Between my Father’s illness, my mother’s delicate health, my stress with Bugaboo, the lack of sleep and my beloved Sister-in-law who recently had a pulmonary embolism (!!!!!) STICK A FORK IN ME, I AM DONE. Some days I’m barely keeping my head above water. And somehow, I’ve managed to convince the world that I’m amazing! GENIUS! ACTING!
But, I can tell you how I do it. Do you want to know? Do you?Huh? Too bad, I’m telling you anyways, I’m awesome like that. Without further ado, how I do IT:
- I have tons of help. We have the best team of therapists and teachers, we have large extended family. We have great babysitters, great neighbors. They are all in it with us together. It takes a village, etc, etc.
- I choose to focus on the positive. Yes, I am realistic and understand the complexity of my situation. But I think of the good times, the happy memories, the positive things in my life. I dwell on those. They pull me through the toughest, darkest times.
- I allow myself to grieve, to get it all out, to cry. It’s cathartic! It feels good later! Kind of like when you have an upset stomach and want to puke but can’t then finally do then you feel soooooo much better? Like that. Without the puking part. And stuff.
- I try to keep myself (and my family) organized. I make lists, get done what I can, combine errands. I have routines, they keep me sane. Until the routines are disrupted and then I go into a tailspin. But that’s okay, because POTATOES. And also BACON.
- I don’t sweat the small stuff. Seriously. While I know people close to me think I’m a nitpicky spaz case, the truth is, I have an AMAZING amount of patience. Like, TREMENDOUS. When you see me lose it? It means that shiz is deep, yo. These days it takes me a long time to get upset. In other words, overflowing bathtub, pee or poo on the floor, burnt dinner, puking dog AND food sprinkled everywhere before I cry.
- I do what I can. I really try to focus on what’s most important. Right now that is clean clothing, food on the table, time with my family. If I can do anything over and above that it’s a good day. Like yesterday when I folded five or six loads and put them away? BONUS POINTS!
- I have outside interests. Yes, I know. I prolly volunteer a bit too much. The truth? I enjoy it. It makes me happy. It distracts me. It keeps me from getting too obsessed with what’s going on in my life.
- I make every attempt to take good care of myself. I try to eat well, get exercise and try to get sleep. I take naps daily to catch up on what Bugaboo doesn’t give me. I goof off appropriately (AHEM). It keeps my head clear and helps me get the stress out.
So there you have it. No magic formula. No special sauce. I’d love to blame it on bacon and potatoes. But the truth is a little boring. Sorry.
I’ll try to come up with a better story next time.