October 27, 2011 by Marj Hatzell
Wanna know what kinda irks me? When someone is having a rough go at life and someone else is all SO WHAT WE ALL HAVE CROSSES TO BEAR SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT.
Just so you know, invalidating someone else’s feeling is cruel. And stupid. And mean. And makes you a big doo-doo head.
Look folks, there’s no Hardship Olympics. There’s no gold medal in “He who hath the sh*ttiest life.” Yes, everyone has their crosses to bear. Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. No one, I repeat NO ONE has an Ozzie-and-Harriet lifestyle. That whole fifties thing? Doesn’t exist.
BUT. When people are having a tough time? Telling them EVERYONE has a rough time (even if it is true) just makes them feel sh*ttier. Empathizing with them? Saying, “I don’t know how you feel but here’s a hug.” or “I know how you feel. Strength in numbers and whatnot.” These are acceptable responses.Sometimes people who are hurting just need to get it out, like. You know, out in the open? And just have someone hear them so they feel better. Better out than in, yes? (GUFFAW)
I get the feeling that some people have low self-esteem and they cannot STAND IT when other people have it worse than them, or better than them, or anything than them. Basically, they are attention whores. Their disability is worse than yours. Their life is worse, their husband makes less money, their kids are sicker, their house is smaller, hell, even their DOG has more issues.
WHISKEY. TANGO. FOXTROT.
I mean, when did it become acceptable to one-up someone constantly? When did it become ok to be all “You have it bad? I HAVE IT WORSE NOW SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE.”
Golly. I was just thinking. I hope i don’t come across that way. I mean, sure I’ve been frustrated with folks when they are all I ONLY GOT SIX HOURS OF SLEEP! WAAAAAH! because, well, I wanna slap them sorta. A little bit, secretly like. But really, I mean, I am hoping I don’t come across as MY LIFE SUCKS AND YOURS DOESN’T or MY LIFE IS WORSE THAN YOURS BECAUSE OF MY KIDS or MY KID’S AUTISM IS WORSE THAN YOUR KID’S AUTISM because that’s totally not my intention. And if I am like that?
Well, at least let me know. I’m a delicate flower and bruise easily. And slapping is all violent and stuff. Ahem.
But really. Although, I do have to admit, when someone bitches about something their normal, perfectly developed child is doing I may or may not get slightly annoyed because I’m all DUDE. YOUR KID IS TALKING AND YOU WANT HIM TO SHUT UP? I mean that in the nicest way. Like, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Look at the awesomeness you have before you and cherish everyday. In a life-is-to-short-relish-every-moment kind of way, not a YOU SUCK, COMPLAINER! Sort of way. Now does it make sense? A little? Hope so.
Anyways. What do you think of one-uppers?