June 28, 2011 by Marj Hatzell
One of the most fabulous benefits of Bugaboo’s fabulous school is YEAR ROUND PROGRAMMING. As in, he still goes to “ESY” but it’s all summer long, minus a few short breaks, and it’s the same schedule with the same teachers in the same location. So technically, it’s not ESY. But hey, for purposes of budgets and whatnot, the school district likes to call it ESY. Whatevs. If it makes the down payment on Bugaboo’s education easier to swallow they can call it a Caribbean cruise for all I care.
Bug Boy, on the other hand, does not qualify for ESY. And what little they’d offer him through our school district is kinda inappropriate. See, he doesn’t regress much (if at all) and I do all sorts of groovy stuff over the summer to keep him scheduled and happy. We do some sort of camp, take advantage of the free summer library programs and we do other things at home (like, I’m a mean mommy and “homeschool” him during the summer). In fact, right now he is sitting at the breakfast table going through Greek and Latin root word flash cards because I’ve decided it will help him with his vocabulary. Because being hyperlexic and getting a perfect score on spelling and vocabulary isn’t enough. I love my little word nerd. Anyways…
Breaks are tough for my boys. Keeping Bug Boy busy is easier than accommodating Bugaboo when he’s on a break from school. The good news? Bugaboo only has off for a week at a time (well, ten days with The Fourth. The bad news? He’s so used to having only two days off at a time (weekend) that even with massive prep, he’s waaaaaaay off schedule. Which means I spend the rest of the week doing damage control and trying to contain a whirling dervish. Ever try to put a tornado in a box? That’s about how easy it is when Bugaboo is home for an extended break. There’s a reason his little nickname is “Dr. Destructo” and I’m so not kidding. No stone left unturned! But hey, he’s thorough, right? THATTA BOY!
Luckily, I’ve had my niece and nephew here. The niece, twelve, is a good friend of The Actress from down the street. When the niece is here, The Actress lives at my house. And I mean LIVE. Like, every meal, at least one sleep over and I can give them jobs to do. They clean, set the table, help cook and manage doggies. Of course, two prepubescent girls mean PLENTY of hormones and drama and pouting and eye rolling. After a few days I’m over the whole “Wish I had a girl” thing and move into “thank goodness I have boys” thing. I even travel further into “Thank goodness I have a NONVERBAL BOY” thing after a week, yo. I mean, you know? RIGHT.
This weekend I took Niece home and switched kids and got her brother, my sixteen-year-old nephew. At about 120 pounds soaking wet and about six feet and three inches tall, he can be quite useful. Like, he can wrangle Bugaboo and pick him up and reach over and grab when he’s escaping because his arms are twice the length of my legs. Oh, and he can walk to Bugaboo while I run because his legs are about the length of a city block so he gets there before I’ve even started. Bugaboo has NOT run away since Nephew has arrived and it’s been grand. Because over the weekend he ended up in my neighbor’s yard and they had turpentine and gasoline on their porch because they were cutting the lawn and doing paint stripping and stuff? You’ll never guess who found it abso-smurfly delightful to play in the “smelling water”. GO ON, GUESS. So I’m glad Nephew is here, because I can do laundry and take a shower and even cook dinner and Bugaboo isn’t stripping nekkid and rubbing carcinogens all over himself. DUH, WINNING.
As long as we keep the boys busy, busy, busy every second of every day, we’re golden. So this week I have plans. Pool plans. Lots and lots of pool plans. Bugaboo loves water, I’m fairly certain he was a fish in a former life, so we spend the majority of our time at the pool. This is awesome because it means he only plays in the hose at home about thirteen times instead of thirty and he doesn’t get into the toilet. Well, not as much in the toilet, anyways. And he only takes four or five showers a day. This is quite an improvement! Yes, we DO have a ridiculously high water bill, why do you ask?
Seriously though (like, when am I serious?), except for the whole trying-to-drink-gasoline incident and the nekkid-at-the-softball-field incident and the fuhreaking-out-at-red-bullseye-store incident, this has been the best break ever in the history of all breaks because Bugaboo is sleeping EVERY SINGLE NIGHT because POOLS! GROSS MOTOR! TIRED! Ok, so he wets the bed every night so I’m doing nineteen thousand loads of laundry but HE IS SLEEPING. If he drinks half the contents of the swim club each night, so be it! They can refill it, right? And chlorine is good for you! Especially when it’s mixed with people’s body fluids, right? (Pardon me whilst I hork up my breakfast.)