April 12, 2011 by Marj Hatzell
10. When elderly family members get ill and decisions have to be made, those decisions suck rocks. Just sayin’.
9. Heavy metal thrash bands at beef and beer benefits for autistic kids? Never a good idea. The parents have sensory issues, too, yo.
8. It’s not very much fun at benefits without your husband, who is off tending to family matters. Also, he took the checkbook with him and it’s not fun bidding on stuff at a silent auction when you can’t, like, pay for it and stuff. Ahem.
7. I should never, ever take Bugaboo to indoor playground type places because he might get stuck way up inside the apparatus and I might have to send Bug Boy in to get him, who might get kicked in the face because Bugaboo might be holding in for dear life because some ball machine might be making a weird noise that might be freaking him out.
6. Border Collie puppies are disgusting little creatures and roll in rabbit stuff and then hork up a few chunks of a tennis ball in the middle of the night and get it all over themselves, resulting in needing a bath, during which they jump out of the tub a minimum of three times, shaking water and soap all over you.
5. When my husband is mentally taxed he disappears in the garage and takes shiz apart and it makes him feel better. Which makes us feel better because he isn’t a Cranky McCrankster.
4. I like dogs more than most people. I know you knew this already but I really, really, really mean it this time.
3. Bug Boy is doing well in school, per a conference with his teachers, though he is his mother’s child and is a world-class, Grade A, Olympic caliber procrastinator. And never, ever takes his nose out of a book. But that’s a good problem to have, right?
2. Oreos are sometimes absosmurfly necessary.
1. The one morning in the past few weeks that Bugaboo chooses to actually sleep until 6am? That will be the one day that the dogs are whining to go out at 5 and the birds start chirping REALLY LOUD AND STUFF at 4am.