The Suckiest Suck That Ever Sucked


March 21, 2011 by Marj Hatzell

Remember that awesome freaking weekend I had? It seems so long ago but it was LAST WEEKEND. And it’s a good thing that The Guy I Live With and I went away because this week? Suckiest ever. I mean, we’ve had worst ones, but HOLY COW!  Way to kick a man when he’s (she’s) down, yo!

It happened almost immediately when we returned. First, Bugaboo stayed up all night last Sunday night and I got two hours of sleep, which meant I had to sleep Monday during the day, and I HATE sleeping the day away because I get nothing done. Then, the job I was trying to go for? Position filled before I even got my resume submitted. Which is okay, because we didn’t have the logistics worked out and I have no idea what we do about certain logistics. We have to work on that, methinks. Because it’s not like we could send Bugaboo to daycare. Could you picture it? HAHAHAHA!!!

Then the week was busy, busy, busy. Hubs was off last week and he was super tired and couldn’t get much done, except do a tune up on the car and then Thursday he started feeling like crappity crap. And the crappity continued and he woke up Friday morning and was sicker than sick, running a fever and had a sore throat. He went to the doc and they were all STREP THROAT and we were all NO WAY.

Bugaboo was off Friday and he was spinning like a top, bouncing off the walls and OMG. We couldn’t figure out why. He was aggressive and stimming like crazy and seemed like he was crawling out of his skin. The I discovered he had eaten two slices of bread. And not even the whole slice, just little pieces of it but HOLY CRUD it was enough to throw off his whole day. I couldn’t blink, he’d run away. I couldn’t go to the bathroom, he was escaping out a window. He climbed the fence prolly dozens of times. And DH got sicker and sicker. Even with the antibiotic. And then!  The super-happy-funtime day ended with Bugaboo climbing ON TOP OF OUR GARAGE and me running across the yard screaming “SIT DOWN, BUGABOO. SIT. SIIIIIIT!” and he sat and looked at me all, “What? I do this all the time!” FRIDAY FRIDAY, yesterday was Thursday,tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday is afterwardssssss.

Saturday was WORSE. Bugaboo didn’t want anyone touching him, looking at him, talking to him. He’d scream, run away, tantrum. His behavior was so “off” I was beginning to think aliens had abducted him (for realz, yo) and replaced him with last year’s model. He ran away at least three times and climbed the fence more times than I can remember. He slapped the Teenager across the face for no apparent reason other than, “O hai. You’re standing there.” SLAP! At one point, I turned and left him in the yard with his brother to go to the bathroom and before I could close the bathroom door, the phone was ringing and my 80-year-old neighbors were calling to tell me he was there. Sigh. And the hubs was even sicker and was burning up with fever and at this point I had Bugaboo for forty-eight-hours straight and was going to lose it. He finally fell asleep and I was all PHEW. And then collapsed into a heap. And couldn’t fall asleep. HAHAHAHA!

Then Sunday. Oh Sunday, supposed to be the funday. Bugaboo continued on his rampage and then it came to a screeching halt and he was comatose. Then, from all of the sniffling and whatnot (he won’t blow his nose when he has a cold. So he sniffs it all up and swallows it. Yeah, I know.) he had the runs. And tried to clean it up himself. Like, Friday, Saturday AND Sunday. So I had lots of poo to contend with. There isn’t enough of it in my life or anything. But he was calm all afternoon and didn’t try to run away and things started calming down. I mean, he only took like FOUR SHOWERS Sunday, that’s a new world’s record! So I started catching up with the ten loads of laundry I had to do and the husband was feeling better and I even cooked dinner (I KNOW!). Life seemed to be getting back to normal. I vowed to sleep all day Monday to recover from the weekend of fun.

And then Bugaboo got up this morning at 5am. After going to bed at 9. Which really isn’t enough time for him (or me). So I was groggy and whiny and then I decided that since I was up I’d go down and start the laundry up, you know, maybe at least get laundry done today? Then sleep for a while. That was still acceptable. One big chore (laundry) which I’d feel good about catching up on and then BAM! Sleep all afternoon!  So I went to the basement to flip the laundry over…

And the washer was in the middle of the laundry room floor. It apparently was out of balance during the last load. And walked itself into the middle of the room, which pulled the drain hose out of the sink (YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING???) and squish, squish, squish, my feet and the bottoms of my pjs were instantly soaked. And that’s when I realized that there were eight towels, sheets and clothes ON THE FLOOR. And the rug was soaked. And!  DH’s tiling supplies (including the bag of grout. Dry grout).But wait!  There’s even more!  The ceiling tiles we had to remove from the basement playroom because Bugaboo was stimming on them and eating them? They were stacked up against the wall of the laundry room. And were now wicking up the water and were all soggy and wet.


If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.

So instead of sleeping all day, I’m now going to be drying the laundry room and sopping wet laundry and then washing it all. And cleaning up soggy ceiling tiles. SO MUCH FUN.

Happy freaking Monday.


25 thoughts on “The Suckiest Suck That Ever Sucked

  1. She Started It says:

    Oh, damn. That’s horrible. It can only get better, right?

    Hope your week turns around big time!

  2. Amanda says:

    (((hugs)))) and coffee. That’s all I’ve got after that post.

  3. neeroc says:

    Holy smokes. It’s gotta get better soon right? Like maybe that was just getting it all out of the way at once and you’ll be walking on daisies the rest of the week

  4. Anne says:

    OK, it has GOT to get better because your post included MORE than three disasters (which always come in threes, you know) so I’d say your disaster quota has been filled!

  5. MemeGRL says:

    You forgot to mention the fire truck.

    Srsly, I have J today but how can we help? We just finished our laundry over here and are happy to take yours in. (We’re Irish, we roll like that.)

    • AH! The firetruck! But that was BEFORE the firetruck got there!

      Got five loads done already so I’m on a roll. Help? Pray for my sanity. Really.

      • MemeGRL says:

        Just as well, as it turned out yesterday I was thinking, huh, it’s so…linty in here all of a sudden and WHOOPS–foil tubey thingee from the dryer to outside was not actually attached anymore. I’m sure that wasn’t a fire hazard or anything.
        But really, let me know. I owe you outs of about 23 jams, if either one of us kept track of such things.

  6. Veronica says:

    I don’t know you, never met you, but I want to give you a hug. Or a mug of tea. Or a live-in masseuse. I can’t do any of those things, but you totally have my respect.

    Oh, and your blog rocks.

  7. Grace says:

    That is the suckiest weekend ever! It’s wicked crazy how things can go from OK to the sewer in the span of one week (or less). I hope you get some sleep soon. Or at least some vodka.

  8. kathy says:

    How’s the husband feeling? Is he back at work? Good luck with all the mess. I’m sure things will turn around SOON.

  9. These are the weeks that Erma Bombeck so often wrote of in her diatribes. Hang in there! Like most stressful things in life, this too shall pass.

  10. […] back to the aim lower blog and read some comments, which will lead you to because you just have to read about the suckiest suck that ever sucked.  There you will find that […]

  11. akazookeeper says:

    Hugs. I had a week like this last week.

  12. kristastes says:

    Aw man. lots of hugs and I am also throwing virtual tater tots at you cuz!

  13. Penbleth says:

    Oh no. I’m so sorry you’ve had a rotten week. Here’s hoping things improve soon. Getting all the details sorted so you can work is just the worst, I’m on a knife edge all the time if anything should happen and it is just Hub and I arranging our time. 12 couldn’t go to day care or after school care because no one seems to be able to manage her.


  14. […] noticed a pattern. This happens EVERY SINGLE MARCH. Every one. I’ve looked back over the past few years (see? There IS a good […]

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