How to be All Domesticky and Stuff


March 2, 2011 by Marj Hatzell

I’ll be the first to admit my name is A TOTAL LIE. I am NOT terribly domestic. I am  also not a goddess. I know, you are shocked, right? But I am good at keeping up with the basics. My kids are fed well, have clean clothes every day (mostly) and once a year we even bathe them.


Anyways, I keep up with stuff. When we first got married, I was great at it. We lived in a four room apartment and it was SPOTLESS. Then we bought our first house and it always looked nice. Then we had kids. Then I realized my house was a freaking disaster because I didn’t have time to clean it (time management is not my strong point, yo). Then I started doing Flylady and Motivated Moms and it got me back on track. And if you suck at domestic stuff? Check out those websites, mmkay? You can thank me later. And don’t tell me it doesn’t work, that means you aren’t trying hard enough or you’re doing it wrong. SHEESH.

What I’ve learned over fifteen years of marriage and ten-plus years of kids? It doesn’t have to be perfect. It has to be good enough. Now, I’m an overachiever by nature but housework? It gets done when it needs to get done (sometimes). I try every morning to get dishes unloaded and reloaded. I cook four meals a week. One or two nights we do leftovers or easy stuff (like soup or something from the freezer). And once a week, Mommy gets a break and gets takeout. Or we go out to dinner. Or we just snack on crap, because popcorn has TONS of fiber and is nutritious. Besides, it’s naturally derived and fine in moderation! Or is that Corn “sugar?”


No, my house isn’t the cleanest. Chances are if you stop by, there will be crumbs on the floor. Great example? Last night I vacuumed the entire first floor. It looked nice. For five minutes. And then Bugaboo happened. Seriously, my dogs are cleaner than this kids. But my house is in a perpetual state of slightly messy, there are often dishes in the sink and I’m always folding and putting away the laundry. It’s the same pile in my room, I swear. Like the loaves and fishes. I fold it, and three more socks pop up in its place. SO NOT FAIR.


Mt. Washmore, the bane of my existence. I prefer toilets to laundry, honest.



My point? Well, there is no point. C’mon! You’ve been reading long enough to know I talk in circles and I have ADHD! But if I had a point it would be this: Life is short. No one EVER says on their death-bed that they wish they vacuumed the floor more often. The people I know and love that have been close to death confided that they wish they spent more time with their children, grandchildren, family, etc. So my plan isn’t to live a life of regret.


I clean it up every weekend. Bugaboo prefers it messy, methinks.


Housework will ALWAYS be there. My children? WILL GROW UP FASTLY. And while I know I need to keep it healthy in here so we don’t end up on an episode of hoarders and I want to pass on good values and self-responsibility to my children? I will also impress upon them that it’s okay if things are a little messy or less-than-perfect.


Because it’s more important to me to spend that ever-so-fleeting quality time with my kids. I’m not going to miss a thing.

It’s not like the dishes are gonna grow legs and walk away, yo. Or they might, if I leave ’em sitting long enough with food on ’em. Ew.



18 thoughts on “How to be All Domesticky and Stuff

  1. the mrs says:

    I’m actually impressed with your mad cleaning skillz. I have no kids and have only been married for four years, and I’ve already (mostly) a abandoned dusting and window washing. I’m pretty scared of what will happen after I have kids…

  2. Amanda says:

    Window washing? People still do that?

    My oldest son I’m convinced hates having a clean room. I’m not a stickler about it, I just prefer to not step on Legos when I go in to say goodnight. That’s all I really ask. OK, so I make the kid put his dirty laundry in the wash pile before it walks away too. He’s 9. He *should* be able to handle those 2 things. You’d think. We just keep telling him to keep studying hard in school so he can get a good job and hire someone to clean his house for him when he’s older if he hates cleaning that much – because we’d hate to see him on Hoarders.

  3. Penbleth says:

    You are so right. When I had my youngest, was still having home visits from the midwife and trying to keep the house looking spotless, the midwife said, “the housework will still be there when you are dead.” Wise words. It’s nice to have a nice home but it should be a home, not a show house. There’s something not quite right about a house with kids that’s absolutely immaculate. Something rotten is hidden somewhere.

  4. Elizabeth says:

    I’m not much of a blog person–too much temptation to procrastinate as it is–But I just found yours. Thanks for your insight and your wit. I’ll check back frequently!

  5. Saelen says:

    Great post! I totally agree. My wife and share the domestic duties and I’m constantly saying, “Don’t worry about the mess. Spend the time with the kids.”

    But she says she can’t think when it’s messy. But now she wants a dog too? Go figure.

  6. Love this!! I like to say that I’m messy, not dirty. Because I live in a 2 bedroom apt and it’s always a mess. This causes a lot of guilt because my mother is a clean freak – like Joan Crawford clean freak.

  7. kathy says:

    I prefer toilets, and just about anything else, to laundry.

    I am loving Cujo in that pic.

    Your basement is HUGE.

  8. Now I totally have basement jealousy. BUT I am so freakin’ relieved to see another house messy like mine that I could jump up and kiss you. If you were, like, actually here in person. And if you didn’t have, you know, crumbs on your face. I ❤ you.

    And, since I'm here, I'll just say it … ladyparts.

  9. Jen says:

    Laundry can suck it. The end.

  10. […] the filthy, messy basement? Not anymore! But those of you who have that basement envy? Look closely at the stains on the […]

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