Collateral Damage


January 26, 2011 by Marj Hatzell

Collateral Damage:unintentional damage to civil property and civilian casualties, caused by military operations

I like our house. We have a nice yard and garden. Our neighborhood is awesome. Our school district is fabulous. It’s truly like Mayberry here and we’re very, very happy.

See? Mayberry!

The inside of our house? Well, different story. I mean, the space is great. We have all the rooms we need. I love how open our kitchen and family room are. We have a fireplace!  A finished basement! A garage! A porch! A PATIO! It’s a nice house.


What isn’t so nice? It needs help. Like, cosmetic work. And although we are currently near the end of a bathroom re-do (like, can put the toilet and sink in tomorrow!  Should be using it by this weekend! WOO!) I am now itching to do more work to the house.

Why? Because the carpets are completely shot and stained (and original to the house, at 25 years old). The vinyl kitchen tile is warping and gouged. The walls have dents, holes and marks all over them. The original doors are cheesy, hollow and made of cardboard (partially).

Bugaboo's art work. Note: Dry erase and crayola "washable" markers do NOT come off of walls. Even with magic erasers.

Basically, our house is destroyed. When we moved in here? It needed cosmetic work. Five years later? It still needs cosmetic work. And how.

Someday we'll paint. At this point I'd take smooth and sanded walls.

The reason? Well, let’s just say that my kids mean well. They do what typical kids do to a house. Doors sometimes get slammed. They bumpy into things and make marks. Bugaboo draws on walls. Chairs scratch floors. But autism kinda made the normal, every day wear-and-tear amplify. And then some. As in, they use stuff kinda like normal kids but the results, well, they just can’t control what their bodies do to things.  Jumping on beds and furniture doesn’t help but the dents in our appliances when they were hours old? Our one-year-old leather couch with a rip in it? every corner missing drywall?  Tile rotting and falling off of our bathroom wall and leaking through the kitchen ceiling?  SIGH. I’m not complaining, I’m just telling it like it is.

We should probably fix this. Eventually. Maybe.

Wanna see?

Rotting tile from Bug Boy's Titanic Expeditions

Kitchen ceiling where the Titanic leaks

Art work on the carpet

Marks in vinyl from chairs WITH floor protectors on them. Would be much worse. MUCH WORSE.

And that doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. HA!  Get it? Scratch the surface? HAHAHAHA!  I SLAY ME!

Ahem. Anyways. Damage. Heavy damage. You get the pic. Again, not complaining, just telling it like it is. Now excuse me while I go cry over the “smelly water” (bleach) Bugaboo poured all over our basement carpet last night. Loooooovely yellow bleach marks all over. *sob*

6 thoughts on “Collateral Damage

  1. Sunday says:

    You should turn this post into a link up where myself and all our other autism and special needs friends can link up with the major damage our homes (and bodies) have taken over the years.

    Seriously….I could write a book about the damage to our place.

  2. Stop watching HGTV too much…no one without a maid that kids has a house that clean. We all have projects. I avoid homeownership
    so that I can PCS and not deal with the house and all it’s crap. Instead of a deep cleaning, we just move. lol.

  3. Melanie says:

    I have heard (on HGTV) that to get marker out of the walls you can use white toothpaste…I haven’t tried it yet, mostly because I haven’t gotten around to wiping down walls, since i spend so much time on cleaning the carpets! I feel like the bad thing about home ownership is that you get lazy about things until right before you decide to sell!

  4. […] envy? Look closely at the stains on the floor. Bugaboo happened, puppy accidents happened, “smelly water (bleach)” happened and I’ll never, ever let the husband pick out the color-of-dirt carpet again […]

  5. […] We have holes in just about every door and wall in our house. […]

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