December 9, 2010 by Marj Hatzell

You know, I’ve been doing this writing thing for a while and honestly, the comments don’t bother me. You know, the negative ones? The ones where they call you names and act like they know EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU because of a post of 500 words? Or that they could raise your child better? Or that you’re a giant uneducated jerk? Or OMG YOU MADE A SPELLING ERROR! OR A GRAMMAR ERROR!!!!111!! Eleventy!

But one thing that really TICKS ME OFF is when you aren’t entitled to your own opinion. I mean, opinion? HOW DARE YOU. You aren’t allowed to disagree! I mean, sure you can have an opinion but only if it’s the same one someone else has. EVERYONE HAS TO THINK THE SAME WAY. AND IF YOU DON’T, YOU’RE WRONG. F*CK YOU AND YOUR OPINION!

See, when I write things, I’m coming at it from my perspective. I’m thinking that way because of my own experiences. And to tell me that my perspective is wrong is, well, wrong. It’s just annoying.

See, most people have their minds made up about the big issues. Even if you think they are misguided, chances are you are NOT going to make them see things your way. You can insult them and berate them and link their articles and blog and twitter account and say mean things all you want, they are still going to have their own opinions. Even if they think potatoes suck, that’s ok. I’ll get over it, eventually.

I’ve been accused of hating breastfeeding women and scaring them from doing it (I breastfed for five years, two of them tandem, y’all. I breastfed through a PREGNANCY. I belonged to LLL).

I’ve been accused of not being supportive of women who get c-sections (I’ve had a c-section).  I’ve been accused of not understanding natural childbirth (I went to midwives with both pregnancies). And when I ended up at the hospital both times with the same complication (placenta abruptia) I was told I didn’t know what real labor was.

I’ve been accused to allowing my child to conform because i want him to blend in more instead of sticking out like a sore thumb and getting stares and comments wherever we go. I’ve been accused to thinking my children were precious snowflakes because they behaved one time and other kids didn’t and I found that amusing.

I’ve been accused of judging people, of being harsh and critical. Because if people were to meet me, that’s the FIRST THING they’d think of me. Being a Judgy McJudgerson. Certainly not being open and kind and loving towards many. Certainly not being the first one to raise their hand to help another person and the president of the too-stupid-to-say-no-club.

And I’ve been accused of being miserable, sad and whiney. Because if you knew me in real life you’d think, “OMG SHE IS SO WHINEY AND ANNOYING” and not “OMG SHE IS SO HAPPY AND ENERGETIC IT’S ANNOYING!”


Is it me or do people not understand that computers do not convey emotion? That 500 words is not enough to adequately explain your position? That there is a REAL, LIVE PERSON on the other end of that computer and when you write mean, hateful, spiteful stuff in comments it hurts? And even when I write that you want to end Mommy Wars they still tell you you’re wrong?

Either a whole lotta people need to get laid or they need to get a little more fiber in their diets, if you know what I’m sayin’. Seriously, Internets. Take a chill pill. Relax a bit. Get a hot bath. Have a glass of wine. Y’all are gonna end up with GERD if you don’t. Just sayin’.

Of course, that’s just my opinion.

There. Now I feel better. As you were.

8 thoughts on “Opine

  1. Ooooh boy do I understand this! 🙂 You know that because I don’t like my *body* and chose to use a nursing cover, I’ve been accused of being ashamed of breastfeeding? Yes, obviously, that’s me! The anti-breastfeeder because I don’t want people seeing my gross belly or stretch marked and weirdly deflated boobs!

    Oh, and don’t forget if you’re not pro- or anti-vaccination. Then everyone just thinks you’re stupid.

    Honestly, the people that end up bothering me are the people who absolutely refuse to learn anything. I deal in a lot of facts, and I hate it when people think that opinion overrides fact. I couldn’t care less if people hate my opinion, but when they argue (often stupidly) a fact, I am glad my eyeballs can’t literally roll out of my head.

  2. Heather says:

    I think life is too short to judge anyone else. Live and let live, I say. And I don’t know about other people, but I don’t read other blogs because I want to nitpick and complain about what people say. I actually like people and like to see what other people’s lives are like and I’m sure they are different from mine!

  3. I think they already have GERD and need more fiber and need to get laid. School vacations are coming up too. That always brings out the absolutely best in the internet as well. I honestly take every trollish comment with a grain of salt because for all you know, that person telling you that you’re scaring women away from breastfeeding is some 45yo guy who still lives in his mom’s basement and plays WOW most of his days. Too many people get behind a keyboard and suddenly grow a pair. It’s a terrible affliction that so many suffer from.

  4. Emily says:

    standing ovation for this one!!! THANK YOU!

  5. Anne says:

    That post is freakin’ hilarious! Especially that third-from-last paragraph.

  6. the life you choose says:

    So this made me chuckle.
    The internet community is just so strange. It’s like learning an entirely new ettiquette. As if email weren’t hard enough…Now you have to deal with people (strangers) who have absolutely no concept of decorum.
    It’s pretty easy really. Don’t like the message? Well be polite or be gone…

  7. Oh how I enjoyed every word of this post. I like how you highlighted the difference between natural difference of oopinion and flat out tearing someone down for her opinion. One is inevitable, the other is unjustifiable.

  8. punkymama says:

    Keep on Keeping on…….F’ the trolls. I read you everyday!

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