August 20, 2010 by Marj Hatzell
Before you ask, yes, I am a glutton for punishment. I thrive on chaos, was raised on it. I don’t like to be bored and therefore I purposely fill my life to the brim. And yes, before you ask it, I AM insane. Just sayin’.
And this is why I am looking for a real-live job. Like, the kind outside the home. Except the trouble is I cannot figure out what I could possibly do that would fit in with our weirdo schedule. And allow me to catch up on sleep when Bugaboo wants to have an all-nighter. Pretty much the only thing I can do is babysit and dogsit. Which is what I’m doing now. And it is decent money, really! I’m not complaining! I am happy to have the opportunity, especially since most people are looking for jobs. At least I have one, right? But, see, I thought this staying-home thing was temporary. I thought I’d take some classes towards my Master’s. I thought I’d be able to go back to work when they were both five and in kindy. And it didn’t quite work out that way. In fact, it totally didn’t work out that way.
See, life has a way of working out its own way and not the way you plan it. Because planning your life is pretty much setting yourself up for _________ (insert your deity/universe/flying spaghetti monster here) to laugh and say, “OH NO YOU DI’INT” and pretty much make the freaking opposite happen. Like! When I thought I was having a girl! TOTALLY HAD TWO BOYS. And when I thought I’d finish my Master’s? NO. And when I thought I’d go back to work? NO. And when I thought I’d have two active and energetic boys who go to our neighborhood school? NO. See, I still get answers to my hopes and prayers and dreams. It’s just that sometimes? The answer is, “ABSO-SMURFLY NOT. NOW GET OVER IT.”
Now, some people are all, “But I want the fairy tale! I want everything to be perfect! I want the sweet life! WAAAAAHHHH! It’s not fair! I’m a big spoiled brat! WAAAAAHHH!” And to them I say, “Get over it, morons. There are no guarantees in life. In the immortal words of my nine-year-old, you get what you get and you don’t get upset.” In other words, you take what you have and make the best of it. Quit yer b*tichin’.
And the reason I’m tellin’ y’all this is because I’ve got some real-live people in my life that are going through some heavy-duty stuff and they are handling it with grace. The big D word. Like, four people I’m either related to or very close with. And it sucks. Sucks big, hairy cajones. But some things are unavoidable. And life sucks. And you know that old saying, right? When life hands you lemons, make lemonade? Except? I have a better idea. When Life hands you lemons, make lemon-flavored iced tea because it tastes better anyways.
And now you have a front-row seat to the way my brain works. Yes, ADHD,why do you ask?
And to deal with the lemons and iced tea and lemonade and STUFF? I babysit. And dog sit. And adopt dogs. And surround myself with it. Why? No, it’s not because I’m crazy (though, that is totally debatable). And it ain’t for the big paycheck, because there ain’t one. I mean, there are a few Andrew Jacksons involved, but no Benjamins (turns out, it ISN’T all about the Benjamins. Just sayin’.). The real reason is that I relate better to kids and dogs and I don’t mind the chaos and it makes me feel good to help others and I’d totally do it for free (but don’t tell my husband. He’d faint or cry or something and we wouldn’t want that, right?) because I’m all awesomely weird like that. Yes, I’m a volunteering junky. A card-carrying member of the too-stupid-to-say-no club. And that’s what I choose to do with my life because, GOSH DARNIT, I LIKE IT.