May 19, 2010 by Marj Hatzell
I’ve celebrated my “I’m totally worth it” speech from the other day by getting a milk shake and then eating waaaaaaay too much cookie dough yesterday. Like, I decided to make chocolate chip cookies because I had a craving for them (I love it when Aunt Flo comes to visit) and ate the dough before it went in the oven and then wondered why my stomach hurt all day.
I also celebrated by getting chips and pico de gallo from my favorite little market because I’m totally addicted to the stuff. And Hey! It’s made from avocado, tomato, onion, cilantro and lime so it can’t be that bad for me, right?
I’m also celebrating by doing a colon cleanse. I know you all wanted to know about my bowel habits. And I know you all wanted to know that I’ve been bloated and irregular and cranky. Sounds like an activia commercial, doesn’t it? Seriously, though, cleanse. It’s awesome. I mean, you sure do go poo A LOT but darn! I feel better. Try it!
I’ve been thinking. You know what the world needs? Colon cleanse. Think about it! People are cranky! People are at war! Republicans and against Democrats! Liberals and not-so-liberals! Everyone against WBC! Folks are just rude, miserable and accusatory. GIVE ‘EM A COLON CLEANSE! I’m serious! It will do WONDERS for people’s moods. There are a few world leaders that could use one. Heck, there are a few former-republican-candidates and their former-vice-presidential-candidates that could use ’em. There’s a few former-democratic-presidents that could use one, too. And while we’re at it? RUSH LIMBAUGH. He needs one. And so does Howard Stern. And? Alec Baldwin (just sayin’).
Wouldn’t hurt Tiger, either.