The Suckiest Sucky Spring Break That Ever Sucked


March 29, 2010 by Marj Hatzell

I shouldn’t be so negative (because, like, it’s totally not me to be negative and pessimistic.  Could be because I’m all hormonal and stuff.) but it’s barely been four days of Spring Break and I already want to cry.

Drenching Rains and accompanying mud from dogs (one extra)?  Check.

Multiple children in my house during deluge?  Check.

Child who has dumped crap on the floor, escaped several times, tried to jump out of the car and destroyed and broke sh*t? CHECK, CHECK, CHECKAnd that was just in the first two hours.

Let’s see.  How about we add in the fact that Bugaboo has wet the bed every night for a week?  Because he wakes up and instead of getting out of bed to go, he turns over to his stomach and pulls out his…ahem, little firehose and goes on the bed.  Or better yet, he climbed into MY BED after wetting HIS bed, and I changed him and he went back to sleep, only to wake up completely saturated from the waist down .  Which soaked through to the quilt, all sheets and the blanket on my bed.   And the pillows. Thank heaven for waterproof bed pads, eh?

By the end of the week I will be weary.  I’ll be exhausted (no naps) and run ragged. There will be piles of laundry and dishes to do. And piles of laundry and dishes to put away.  And dishes and laundry. Did I mention the laundry?  This girl is totally buying paper plates. My family can tell you I am ANTI PAPER PRODUCTS but this week I suddenly realized the reason people use them.  To preserve what’s left of their sanity!

Wanna know what’s even better?  Bug Boy’s violin lessons.  He’s actually doing quite well. He likes to practice and he wants me sitting next to him to listen to every screechy, nails-on-a-chalkboard note.  And I don’t mind it. Except for the part where he learned HOT CROSS BUNS.  If you ever took a music lesson you know what I mean.  It’s the same three notes. Over and over. And over.  AND OVER AND OVER.  It’s repetitive!  But even better?  Bugaboo has learned to hum it.  Bugaboo. My child who doesn’t talk?  Non-verbal Bugaboo?  He’s apparently a music savant.  He has incredible musical memory. He’ll hear something from WEEKS ago (like a theme song from a tv show he’s heard only once) or months ago (Christmas music) and we’ll be walking around, say, Tarzhay?  And he’ll begin humming?  And my husband and I look at each other and say, “Is he humming…naaahhhh.”  and we continue to shop and we hear it again.  And then again.  And then for the next two days. If you know anything about Autistic kids you know that sometimes they have this phenomenon called Echolalia? Which is fancy-schmancy talk for, “THE KID WON’T STOP SAYING IT FOR HOURS.”  (Which we kinda suspected, since once he said, “SH*T” for two hours after I dropped a whole chicken and my dogs got it. ) Well, we’re lucky enough to have, “The Kid Who Hums the Same Song for Days.”  Not too annoying.  Just sayin’.  This will all be fine, of course, if he’s one of those kids that sits down at the piano at the age of nine and suddenly plays Mozart’s Marriage of Figaro. He already hums The Magic Flute, so this isn’t entirely far-fetched.  They can make a movie out of it.  My only request is that some really hot redheaded chick plays me (like Amy Adams.  Or Christina Hendricks. Because she has awesome…eyes.).

6 thoughts on “The Suckiest Sucky Spring Break That Ever Sucked

  1. RuthWells says:

    I could totally see Amy Adams playing you.

    Quin is music-savant, as well. When he was about 5, he turned to us in the middle of some Disney movie and said, “That’s the same music they were playing when blahblahblah was happening.” He hears base lines and countpoint, not just melodies. It’s fascinating. Of course, when Hubby goes and gives him a copy of LES MIS to listen to, it’s annoying as all shit!

    (Where’s your curse jar?)

  2. lora says:

    My cousin played the viola for fifteen minutes or so one hundred years ago, and my brain hasnt stopped playing hot cross buns since! So I can’t imagine what your brain must sound like these days.

    Scrich scrach scroch
    scrich scrach scroch
    scrich scrich scrich scirch
    scrach scrach scrach scrach
    scrich scrach scroch.

  3. She Started It says:

    Hope you get some “break” or “spring” soon!

  4. choosy says:

    Okay Lora’s comment killed me.
    I have THAT stuck in my head now.

    On another note: School’s back on Monday!
    Here’s hoping you hold it together until then.

  5. Well I certainly like your attitude. Everybody thinks spring break is the bomb! My kids do. But for parents who are home, it pretty much SUCKS!!

    My wife and I share the day care duties, so that puts me at home three days, sometimes four a week. And let me tell you, when my wife gets home at 5:30pm, I’ve already got my coat on.

    She says, “How was your day?”
    I say, “I’m outta here. Talk to me later.”

    That’s how I got into drinking coffee. I would just leave with nowhere to go. So I figured, I might as well get a cup of coffee?????? And so one day I did. Now I associate it with freedom.

    Let me qualify: I do love my kids, but you know……

  6. […] noticed a pattern. This happens EVERY SINGLE MARCH. Every one. I’ve looked back over the past few years (see? There IS a good reason to blog!) […]

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