Irony Meter


February 15, 2010 by Marj Hatzell

It’s like Raaaa EEEE AAAAAINNNN on your wedding day.  A free riiiiiiiide when you’ve already paid.

Why is it the City of Brotherly Love has issued citations for people who did not bother to shovel the massive snow after 24 hours and yet there were some streets NOT PLOWED for several days?  Does that mean the residents on those streets get to fine the city?

I took the antibiotic for several days. The sinus, ear and upper respiratory infection are gone. In its place is Bronchitis.

Tomorrow the boys go back to school for the first time in seven days, due to SNOMG.  Which means we are expecting more snow tonight.

I didn’t have to dog sit or babysit anyone on Thursday, the day the boys had their Valentine’s Party.  Bug Boy’s party was postponed (NO SCHOOL) until tomorrow. When I am supposed to babysit my nephew. Bugaboo’s was rescheduled for Thursday.  Which is when I have to dogsit.

I need sleep. Bugaboo has been waking far too early, despite our attempts to get him to bed later.  We were thinking that he’d sleep later.  WRONG.  It just means less sleep for him (and us) and more hyperactivity.  By nine o’clock I’m wiped out. Which is precisely the time that I finally get them both in bed, get lunches and school bags packed, clean up from dinner and FINALLY sit down to relax.  ZZZZZZzzzzz.

Bugaboo desperately needs to go back to school.  By day three of any break he is a basket case. The kid literally cannot function and we are in survival mode.  Which is why, after seven days off, he seems to be developing the cold that knocked me on my ass, gave me an Upper Respiratory Infection (and subsequent yeast infection.  Sorry, TMI.) and bronchitis.

I am currently taking a medication that has a few warnings.  While I love the fact that it has virtually no side-effects (and I feel absolutely outstanding), it does have a warning that it could have a stimulatory effect when combined with cold medicine. And stimulants.  And I have a cold and need hot tea.  Also?  I cannot drink on top of said medication.  And that’s the one thing I’d love to have when this freaking cold leaves the building.  But that’s not all! You get two for the price of one!  This medication ALSO can suppress immunity, meaning I CANNOT KICK THIS COLD.  So.  I have a choice of being sleepless, on no old meds and take the wonder med OR be sleepless, on cold meds with no wonder med and be a total BEEYOTCH.  Tough call.

I put the trash bag outside the back door because Shadow (pain in my arse, as much as I love her) is a trash picker and is smart (damn border collies) and can open the trash can and eat out of it.   An hour later I let the dogs out because they sensed a snow flake thinking about falling from the sky or an imbalance in the force, or something.  I sat down to relax because Bugaboo had just fallen asleep.  Five minutes later the color drained from my face when I realized the dogs were out in the snow. In the dark.  With the bag of trash.  And Shadow had eaten basically every forbidden sickness-causing item she could find.  And Bristol, the cutest doggy in the world, helped herself to her first diaper.  Wooo.

The Meter.  This one goes to Eleven.

3 thoughts on “Irony Meter

  1. RuthWells says:

    February CANNOT be over soon enough.

    That is all.

  2. I’ve been dragging from a little cold with a little cough, but after reading your blog, I just feel like a whiner. I hope you feel better soon and good luck with the sleep issues. My doctor told me, “Sleep begets sleep”, when my first one was little. I don’t know if that will work for you.

  3. The Hussy says:

    I so love picking up the trash when my dogs have had their way with it. It’s my favorite thing to do. So is drinking. I feel for you woman.

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