November 19, 2009 by Marj Hatzell
Here’s the thing: I don’t get much time for pleasure reading. I’m still trying to finish book seven of Harry Potter (YES, I KNOW I’M THE LAST ONE ON THE PLANET EARTH.). And if I have time to read? Right now it’s “How to Train Your Puppy” and “Autism for Dummies” and the like. In other words, if I ain’t reading a pleasure book, I’m reading a self-help guide (read: WTF? HELP ME!).
Today I’m feeling a bit…stabby. Violent. Raging. I wanna hurt someone. The good news is that I have better impulse control than I used to. The bad news is that I shouldn’t take my imps kids to Tarzhay when I’m feeling this way because, hello? Impulse shopping? The other good news is that Bug Boy was so hung up on finding a car charger for the DS he had taken away for the past week (his own punishment! I like letting him choose the punishment, it works!) that I didn’t get to peruse the hair dye. Because this is the kind of week I might have gone emo and dyed it black. Again. And let me tell you something about dying your hair black when it’s naturally red. Ish. IT DOES NOT WORK.
So there we are. Target. Books. Videos. Stoopid Vampire shit. Yes, I said shit. SHIT SHIT SHIT. I’m also cursing today, did you notice? Everybody and their freaking uncle reads this dreck. I picked up the first book. I read two pages. I wanted to kill someone, and I don’t mean by sucking blood out with my fangs. I mean, i could use the book as a weapon. Or a paper weight. Or? kindling. That’s what I think about these stories. I apologize in advance to those of you who might actually read them, but I just do not get them. And the movies? OMG he ain’t that good-looking! And, y’all who are drooling over shark boy? SICKOS.
Yeah, whatever you do, don’t mention that freaking movie to me. Tomorrow, my husband comes home from a week-long business trip. The kids have a half-day. Bug Boy is (thankfully) going on a playdate. I’m getting a massage. Because, today? Today sucked. Rain+three dogs= mud. Mud=bath. Bathtub=knock the damn metal bar down on my head twice in a day. Today also meant running around doing errands, Bug Boy’s conference, homework frustration and errands. It also meant no nap for me (BAAAAAAD) and Bugaboo having wicked mood swings (oops. Forgot his bi-polar meds. My bad!) and crying and having trouble falling asleep. And why the hell doesn’t spellcheck recognize DRECK and DYE and EMO?
You betcha I won’t be waiting for that damn movie to start. I’m gonna be studying the insides of my eyelids.
Now, excuse me while I go hide in the basement and play Guitar Hero.