Talk About a Slap in the Face


November 10, 2009 by Marj Hatzell

Tonight we were attending the viewing of the mother-in-law of DH’s father’s sister (got that?).  I got all gussied up like it was a hot date, mostly because my choices were yoga pants and stained graphic tees with sneakers or my sexy leather boots with a knee skirt and cutesy sweater. Earings, necklace, you name it.  Except when I was trying stuff on, like stuff I wore this summer? My adorable light-weight sweaters and skirts?


As in, I could barely zip up the skirts, pull them over my arse or button a sweater or blouse.  Don’t even get me started on the stockings that I couldn’t get over my thighs.  These were all things that fit me less than three months ago. A year ago, some of them were slightly too big.

And now they are too tight.

Either some gnomes decided to sneak into my house and switch out my clothes as a really bad practical joke or every shrunk in the wash.

I’m going with everything shrunk in the wash. Sounds good, right?

Because the alternative?  The alternative is I stepped on the scale and found out I gained yet another five pounds.  That’s thirty pounds since my anniversary last year.  I’m eating like crap, I’m not getting any sleep, my clothes don’t fit and I am barely getting exercise in again because when I have the choice between sleep or a three-mile jog, GUESS WHICH ONE I PICK, Y’ALL.  Go on, guess.

I can dream about jogging while I am sleeping. When I am jogging, I can’t sleep.  That’s how I justify it.  And now that I’ve written that out, I see how pathetic that justification is, just like when I justify that I need fries for lunch, or need to get SOS for breakfast or need ice cream because it was a bad day and I deserve it.  I am not getting younger.  Thirty pounds in a year.  If I do that again, I will be in the morbidly obese category for my height.  I deserve a healthier me and so does my family.

I’m kicking my arse and taking my own name. Time to get serious.

10 thoughts on “Talk About a Slap in the Face

  1. HG says:

    I’m not trying to kill your resolve (how I wish we lived closer and could run together – I might actually do it), but the lack of sleep is probably key. I realized that my heaviest post-partum time is when I am sleep deprived, not because I’m not exercising (I’m not), but because I eat constantly for the energy boost to stay awake.

  2. TNG says:

    The lack of sleep is KIIIILLING ME. And the eating post partum. I’m with HG.

    I don’t think that our bodies are made to handle no sleep for long periods of time. Shit starts BREAKING DOWN.

  3. GeekChick says:

    I put on 40 pounds this past year. So easy to put on, so hard to take off. But I’m with ya, sis. It’s time to get mideval on my butt…and thighs…and arms…you get the picture.

    I agree with HG – lack of sleep causes your body to go into “survival” mode and it stores the fat for energy that you aren’t refreshing when you sleep. But therein lies the problem – how can you get more sleep?

  4. Cel says:

    How about run ONE mile and take a nap? And, YES, sleep is HUGE in weight loss/gain.

  5. autumn says:

    sleep is everything. i never knew it until it was taken. so sorry marj. it totally sucks. hang in there and keep writing. you are a super trooper!!!! fingers crossed for a solution for ian’s sleep problems.

  6. lora says:

    it happens fast. I’m 15 pounds up from this time last year. Maybe 20.

    It’s time to get serious indeed.

  7. RuthWells says:

    Come to free yoga with me next Tuesday as a gentle starting point.

  8. MemeGRL says:

    Count me in your chorus. That’s why I’m in this sleep study. They said flat out that sleep deprivation leads to weight gain, for both the reasons already mentioned–you’re too tired to exercise and eating or drinking to stay awake! Happens All The Time. Just such a bummer when it’s you.
    Come inspire me next week when my appointments are done and my kids are in school and we’ll heave ourselves around the track!

  9. pkzcass says:

    “I can dream about jogging while I am sleeping. When I am jogging, I can’t sleep.”


  10. jennifer says:

    I agree with pkzcass, that line made me LOL. A brilliant justification.

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