March 25, 2009 by Marj Hatzell
Say you have a cell phone. You know, just for the sake of argument. Let’s say you’ve had it for, I dunno, eight months? And you don’t know how everything works on it because you previously had a pay-as-you-go-Mtv-Rave-Phone that had nuttin’ on it but numbers to dial. Nothing fancy. As in, nothing. Except for a killer Blackjack game.
Anyways, say this particular newfangled cell phone has tons of technology you haven’t figured out how to work because you have no time to sit and figure it out, and your phone was stolen and you had to have it replaced just as you thought you figured it out, only to find you still don’t know how to do it. And you feel like a giant eejit ’cause you are normally technologically gifted and have never had problems before.
So, say you finally figured out how to use the cell phone camera on the phone. And then, let’s say you wanted to VIEW the pictures. You know, like, look at them? And say your cell phone company charges you to VIEW THE PICTURES and charges you as much as it costs to send a text. Now, let’s also say (just for the sake of argument here) that you do not have an unlimited texting plan because you think texting is for teenagers and people who cannt spel good U R l8tr and so you don’t use it that often, except when you are stuck in the ER with nothing to do except text facebook. And play scrabble on your phone. It’s a phat scrabble game.
You get the monthly bill and there is an $18 charge on it. And when you investigate it turns out that if you got the freaking unlimited texting plan with your phone (for a mere $5 more per month) you wouldn’t have gotten charged eighteen dollars to look at nine pictures. That’s a difference of $13 for those of you not good at math. And let’s say that your husband starting cursing and muttering about shutting off cell phones that have already cost us hundreds of dollars because people steal them when you are at the CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL with your SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD.
So let’s just say that the pictures in question were of really super-duper-shiatty quality anyways. And the only reason you took them was because you had this phat post planned for your blog about thrift store shopping and how people keep buying my stuff and it’s harder to find my stuff. And when you told your husband which pictures it was that you took he nearly fell on the floor with a heart attack and died because he won’t read your blog anyways, ’cause that would be like, weird and stuff.