Because The Voices in My Head Tell Me To


January 14, 2009 by Marj Hatzell

I have so many random things just bouncing around my head today.  Case in point:

I find the dentist relaxing. In other words, I do not fear the dentist. Drills?  Bring it on.  X-rays?  No problem.  Cleanings?   YES!   There is some perverse pleasure, to be sure.  It may have something to do with the fact that I am reclining, listening to classical music and there is this very-good-looking older man leaning over me (even with the coffee breath).  And no one is saying, “MOOOOOOM!   Maaamaaaa!”   Hmmmm…

Am I the only person on the planet who could give a flying f*ck about American Idol?  Seriously.  Ugh.  And?  Am I the only one who can’t get into Lost, doesn’t care for SITC, thinks Desperate Housewives is the worst acting and storyline known to man in THIS century so far and has never watched Seinfeld or How I Met Your Mother?

Tea Cups.  A few of my favorite things.   Exhibit A:


Yes, I’m aware that it appears to be a soup bowl.  Haters.

Despite the fact that I have gained TEN POUNDS SINCE SEPTEMBER, I am convinced that the house elves have once again broken into my house and replaced all of my clothes with a size smaller.  Also?  It has nothing to do with all of the chocolate and dessert I ate over the holidays.  And nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that despite this weight gain (and I am actually out of shape for the first time ever in my whole freaking life. I was in better shape nine months pregnant) I have no motivation to jog or walk the dog when it is twenty-five degrees outside.  And it’s about to be ten.  Can’t quite figure that out.

I read obits every morning. What’s up with that?

Sometimes I want to strangle people. Not really, just figuratively speaking. Like the girl I tutor?  Not handing in a project that is 50% of your grade?  And you’ve had this teacher three years in a row?  And it takes about 20 minutes to do the freaking project and print it out?  I MEAN, C’MON!!!!!  And didn’t bring it home so I knew NOTHING ABOUT IT and neither did her parents? UGH.

Did you know that being married is like raising another child?  I mean, I knew this for a long time but today it is even more true.  Hissy fit, ticked off about waking up late, temper tantrum about waiting until the last minute to print something and then getting ticked it won’t print, threw his bagel away because “he didn’t WANT a bagel for breakfast!” and the stomped out of the house in a huff.  And I wonder where the younger ones get it.

Speaking of younger ones:

dsc02207He’s currently refusing to go to bed. He wants to ride in the car every night.  We’re tired of it. He doesn’t want to sleep in his room (four months now).  We’re tired of it. Every night for the past week he’s been falling asleep on the couch.  Then we carry him to his room.  And when we get to his room he suddenly wakes up and clings to the door frame and squirms and wiggles and gets down and runs into our bedroom and falls asleep immediately.  And we’re tired of it.

And the husband goes on a business trip today.  Sigh.

But I have tea.  Lots and lots of tea.

5 thoughts on “Because The Voices in My Head Tell Me To

  1. RuthWells says:

    Well, with Hubby on a trip, that’s one fewer kid to manage, right?…….. ; )

    Let me know if you run out of tea; I have lots.

  2. pkzcass says:

    Except for the reading the obits in the morning and the child not sleeping in his own room, I could have written this post. I love the pic of the tea cup (soup cup?) and I could give a damn about American Idol or Lost.

    Try to enjoy your time without your third child.

  3. Hang in there!

    And I don’t care about Idol. I watched a whole bar full of people last night get all hyped up about it. I wanted to scream!

  4. MemeGRL says:

    I’m totally with you on the TV stuff. I might have loved SITC but we didn’t have HBO.
    Have good weekdays at least!

  5. natalie says:

    ok…i love american idol. i think it is because it was one of the few shows i could watch in english in turkey. well they had reruns of seinfeld, desperate housewives, and friends as well. i was just excited for something new! and my kids love it too. one of the few shows we can always agree on.

    i never read the obits…mainly because i don’t know anyone here.

    i love tea.

    and yes children…well husbands…yeah…i get that part totally!

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