November 11, 2008 by Marj Hatzell

I was actually awake to watch the eleven o’clock news the other night (you may thank Bugaboo) and a story about churches caught my eye. I normally do not watch the news (I prefer to read it for free online. Thank you Al Gore, for inventing the Internets) but was too lazy to get up and find the clicker and much too lazy to get up and turn the television off.

It seems that we’re on hard times in these here parts and the churches are seeing a surge in people who need help.  They are also seeing a huge rise in attendance, rivaled only recently (if it can be called recent) by attendance in the two years following 9/11. In fact, their monetary donations are up.  Their goods donations and food donations are up.  They are able to help more people, have more people to help and more people are helping them. So, in a way, the recession?  Good business for churches, turns out.

Now.  Stay with me here.   9/11 was the worst act of terrorism in our country’s history. We are currently in a horrible financial crisis.  After 9/11 there was a huge rise in attendance and donations.  After Hurricane Katrina there was a huge rise in donations and attendance.  After Wall Street went to heck in a hand basket a few weeks ago, yes, there has been a huge rise in donations and attendance.  Hmmmmm…there must be some sort of correlation…hmmmm…can’t quite put my finger on it….hmmmm…

Churches caused 9/11, made Hurricane Katrina happen and caused the collapse on Wall Street.  And they got Obama elected. Now, you might think I am completely insane, since most conservative religious folks backed the other guys (what were their names again?  I can’t recall.).  But I am telling you. It’s awfully coincidentally.  It’s a big co-inky-dink.  It’s suspicious. They had to have done it.

Just sayin’.


  1. GeekChick says:

    According to the “other side”, it was the Democrats that caused every catastrophe in the Western Hemisphere, and will cause any future ones. Sheesh.

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