September 9, 2008 by Marj Hatzell
Cell phones while driving 65 in a 45? Really?
Overalls. On your frame? Honey, you ain’t bad to look at. But overalls do NOT look good on anyone. Please, trust me on this one. I was guilty of this while preggers. Except you can excuse that because I was pregnant-on-the-brain and everyone feels sorry for pregnant women when they look bad.
There’s a reason we have child seat laws. It’s because you need to put seat belts on your kids. This is not optional, last time I checked.
When they give you that little insert with your medication and it indicates that common side-effects might be headaches, nausea, dizziness, dry mouth and constipation, plan on your child having headaches, nausea, dizziness, dry mouth and constipation.
It is inevitable that when your husband says you can go take an hour nap and he’ll make sure Bugaboo and the dogs leave you the heck alone that there is a very good chance he will renege on that promise and you’ll catch him playing your son’s Webkinz while Bugaboo crushes up cheese sticks and crackers and dumps bottles of water all over the floor. While the dogs eat it.
It is also inevitable that your husband will leave decisions involving the children and their health and education up to you and then complain about the choices you make. Just sayin’.
Make sure you carefully weigh items you sell through an online auction in the actual package you will mail it in so that calculated postage will be accurate. Instead of being four dollars off. In their favor.
Yes, school nurse, it is FINE that you give him acetaminophen or ibuprofen for a headache, that’s why I checked that stoopid little form off in TRIPLICATE.
Both parent meetings will be scheduled on the same night. It will happen.