September 5, 2008 by Marj Hatzell
Y’all. I slept last night. Bugaboo slept last night. In fact, I came home from choir practice to find BUGABOO ASLEEP. On the couch, but hey! We can’t be picky. I’ll work on that later. I did manage to carry him upstairs (after some ALONE time with the husband for the first time in over a month. Ahem.) without waking him. Amazing!
The thing is, a decent amount of sleep also brings dreams. You know the ones. The ones that are so vivid that you jolt awake in a panic, gasping for breath, heart beating and sweat pouring down your face? Yeah, those. Dreams about the boys chatting and laughing together while playing cars or video games, dreams about the boys arguing over who needs to take out the trash and dreams about Bugaboo saying, “Oh, Momma!” They are so real. Unfortunately, they also put me in a trance for the rest of the day. They are so real that I can’t shake the feeling. It leaves me wanting to hear his sweet voice. It leaves me wanting more. MORE! I can’t be satisfied with what I’ve got, I need MORE from him.
The other dreams I have are the scary variety. The ones where Bugaboo, gulp, passes away. We find him in a swimming pool. He gets hit by a car. He dies in his sleep from a massive seizure. These are far to real, too. I can’t shake those, either. And I don’t want to have them anymore. Talk about sobering! It’s enough to totally kill my positive energy. Today I’m climbing my way out of the much and attempting to walk on the bright side again. So far, I feel as if I’m swimming against the tide. Not too successful. And? Every freaking song I hear on the radio has some line or phrase that I can apply to my life and it causes tears to well up in my eyes. Sheesh. I don’t have time for this crap.
You know what causes really funky dreams? As in, STEAMY-HOT-TRIPLE-ECKS dreams? The muscle relaxer I have for my back spasms. Doods. If you wanna score in a big way in your sleep you gotta get some of this stuff. And it is non-narcotic! Amazing! Just kidding. Maybe.
By the way, the yard sale? Turning into a nightmare. Have you seen the forecast for our area for tomorrow? Wind, rain and 75 degrees, due to the remnants of Hurricane Gustav? Sigh. Looks like the town yard sale ain’t happening, although several neighbors of mine (and myself) are planning on having one next week anyways…we won’t get half the foot traffic but we’re still gonna try for it. Please pinch me and tell me it’s just a bad dream. I finally got the husband to get rid of some furniture that I LOATHE AND DETEST and now it’s gonna freaking rain and he won’t let me get rid of it unless we put it out in the yard sale. NO FAIR! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Actually, don’t pinch me. I’ve been getting enough of that this week from a certain-unnamed-five-year-old-child-who’s-name-rhymes-with-Ugaboo. Mmkay?