July 11, 2008 by Marj Hatzell
I’m actually doing this Filch-it Friday thing. AGAIN! Can you believe it? That’s, like, twice now. So here it goes:
I’m filching from Bossy, since she’s smarter than me and funnier and cool as sh*t. I kid you not. She’s awesome, I’ve met her. I’m filching her Ten-word Tuesday. Yes, I’m aware it’s Friday. I think Five-word-Friday is too short, don’t you? Fifteen-word-Friday might be too long. Ok, FINE! FIFTEEN WORD FRIDAY IT IS!
Today I’m gonna take Ms. Lucy’s suggestion and talk about things that drive me insane. Like, faded ribbon magnets on cars. Replace them already! Get a new one! We can’t even tell what color it is or what you are supporting, yo. No! FIFTEEN RIBBON MAGNETS ON CARS! I mean, I get it, you are supportive of soldiers and breast cancer and autism and the humane society and AIDS and parasitic twins and all that, but do you need fifteen of them? Or worse yet, THE CIRCLES WITH THE LETTERS IN THEM! I spend WAAAAAY too much time at red lights trying to figure them out. C’mon! I’m good at Wheel O’Fortune! What the heck is “CS” anyways? Or “LBI?” ( I did figure that one out.) IT’S STOOOPID!
Whew. That felt better. Isn’t it great to get stuff off of your chest? Cathartic, I tells ya.
So, dear readers reader. please tell me in fifteen words EXACTLY (yes, exactly. I’m the fifteen word police.) what your pet peeves are? I’ll go first:
Cheap plastic flowers in gardens in front of pretty houses is sooooo seventies, dearest neighbors!
You drive like a moron because there is a cell phone stuck to your ear.
Picking noses at red lights has to be the most disgusting thing. Husband is guilty.
People who let their kids run around nekkid should get their heads examined. Who, me?
See? It feels good. Now go tell your friends and neighbors to stop by and vent their frustrations. I don’t care if it is toothpicks at the diner or shopping carts with dirty handles or folks who leave their turn signals on, tell them to get on over here and release their anger. It’s all good. It’ll be just our little secret.
And do me a favor? Don’t tell my neighbor to stop by here? You know, the one who yells at the kids for drawing on the sidewalk with chalk? ‘Cause it’s not like rain washes it away, or anything…