June 6, 2008 by Marj Hatzell
Yeah, yeah, shut up. I told you I’d get around to it eventually. Nutmeg does this Bloggy Carnival Thingy called, “Filch it Friday.” Your are supposed to literally STEAL SOMEONE’S IDEA and make it your own. No, it isn’t plagerism. It’s erm…to show your devotion to another blogger. YEAH! THAT’S IT! It’s certainly not because I have run out of material or anything. Because there will always be poo, there will always be a dog in my life and I’ll always have a backyard.
Anyways, I’m giving a tour of my home, a la PW or Boomama or Bossy or other people who give tours of their homes on the Internets so that strangers know exactly what to steal when they google me and find out where I live. Without further ado, I give you CHEZ DG!
That’s the front of the house. Notice I tried to hide the light pole and my car parked in the driveway, mostly because it’s a butt-ugly light pole and I don’t have any special car, just a minivan. Note the railing my husband finally put up this past fall after two years of begging and pleading asking nicely. Now go on up the front steps, if you can find them behind that retched tree/foliage/shrub thingy. Don’t trip on the toys or the bike that is no doubt blocking the steps.
Welcome to my humble abode! This is the first thing you see when you walk in. Shoes, more shoes, dirt and a big, black dog blocking your entry as she licks you and begs for belly scratches. If you haven’t turned around and run out of shear terror, hang left and go into the Living Room, mmkay?
Here’s the living room. It isn’t used often, mostly just for the dog’s naps, a few bangs on the piano and to take naps when I feel like sleeping in there. The couch is super-comfy and came from a fly-friend. The decor we are going for in this room is Early American Goodwill. Now, off to your right, you will see the Storage Closet Dining Room:
Fabulous, eh? Someday we will knock down the wall between the Kitchen and Dining Room and make a grand eat-in, warm and friendly kitchen. Don’t worry it isn’t load bearing. At least, I hope not. Then we’d have a teensy issue with holding the second floor up, eh? Speaking of kitchen, here’s one view:
And another view:
And you’ll notice it’s as messy as the rest of the house. Do not walk barefoot into this room, your feet will turn black from the dirt. Notice I did not take a picture of the counter space, or lack thereof, because Mr. DG has not cleaned up his fryer or the bottles of oil or his paperwork crap or…no, it’s not a sore-spot. Why do you ask? Anywho, here’s one of the reasons we bought this house, because the kitchen is open to this bright and cheerful family room:
We spend 90% of our time here. Well, at least the rest of my family does. I spend 90% of my time chasing Bugaboo around all of the rooms and standing in the kitchen serving food. It used to be a cave until we added the windows last year when the exterior was gussied up to the tune of AN OUTRAGEOUS AMOUNT OF DOLLARS. Ten points for anyone who can guess how much a new roof on the house and garage, new siding, new gutters and shutters and ALL NEW WINDOWS cost us. GO ahead! GUESS! Okey doke, now downstairs to the pit of despair kids’ playroom:
Know what I love about this room? We can close the door and forget about it. Well, that is until I have to walk to the door off to the left (can’t see it in this pic, but trust me, it’s there. I SWEAR.) and wash clothes, which is, well, several times a day. That room is also where we keep the deep freeze, kitchen appliances, random crap and more random crap. Speaking of random crap, up to the second floor we go to see the hall bath:
Notice how clean it is? That’s because we had yet another poo issue in there the other day and I have bleached it and mopped so often that I’m surprised the floor hasn’t caved in. But it might cave in, since Bugaboo is fond of splashing enough water out of that tub to sink the Titanic, and the water drips under our toilet and leaks out of the kitchen chandelier. Isn’t that SPECIAL? I’m SO HAPPY That happens! WOOHOO! And here’s Bugaboo’s room:
It’s missing something…hmmm…what’s missing…I know! CLOTHES! And that’s because they are in the closet because we can’t have a dresser in Bugaboo’s room. He has this slight tendency to knock the dresser over on himself. Since we wanna keep him around for a few more years (he’s grown on us now) we decided to move the dresser into the closet where it can’t get knocked over and where I can barely open the drawers wide enough to reach my hand in and get his clothes out. Someday we will get a closet organizer and get rid of the dresser. That will do doubt be the same day we spackle walls and paint the house and rip up the carpet and…Hey, wanna see Bug Boy’s tornado zone bedroom?
Here it is, in all its glory. Bug Boy wants to paint the walls fire engine red but I put my foot down and said, “Ok. But don’t tell Daddy. I’ll do it next week when he goes out of town.” Because Mr. DG LOVES it when I get manic and can’t sleep while he’s away and go to HD and paint half the rooms in the house. Yup, he LOVES it. (Note sarcasm). Oh, and Bug Boy’s room literally looks like a tornado hit it every night when he goes to bed. And aside from sleep he spends maybe fifteen minutes in it a day. I’d hate to see what it would look like if he spent, say, an hour in there? Brace yourselves, here comes the love den:
That’s our master. On the right side of the bed is Mr. DG’s closet. Behind you is my closet. He has more clothes than I do but for some reason I got the larger closet. I think it is because we also store all of the extra crap in there, like linens and stuff I find on clearance and hide from everyone for months and then forget about. Oh, and we also keep our file cabinet in there for some reason. I’m not showing you the Master Bath, because it looks like a flamingo threw up in there. It’s pink with lots of eighties tile. Don’t even ask me to show it to you, trust me, you’ll vomit.
Well, that’s about it. Unless you wanna see yet another picture of my freaking backyard. And we all know you don’t want to see it. Nope, not gonna do it. Wouldn’t be prudent. You can’t make me, NAH NAH NAH!!! Ok, fine. HERE:
Happy now? Good. It’s a freaking mess, too. People’s houses reflect their brains, dontcha know. So my house screams says, “I’ll get to it eventually. I’m a bit overwhelmed but I’ll do…HEY! Look over there! Shiny things! WOW! Oh, by the way, I saw this thing on sale and…”Hope you enjoyed your stay at Casa DG. Don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.