May 29, 2008 by Marj Hatzell
Good Morning, Class! Time for a math lesson, DG style. Today we will talk about fractions, just because I said so. Shall we begin?
Fractions are simple. They represent a part compared to a whole. For example: My older brother is an *sspart, the middle brother is an *sshole. Get it? No? Well, then how about this: we’ll talk about my siblings and me to show you the comparisons.
- 3/7 of my siblings are male, 4/7 are female. At least we think.
- 3/7 have been arrested (that pesky underage drinking)
- 6/7 have been to college (for at least a semester) and 6/7 of us finished high school (coincidence?).
- 1/7 has a GED
- 3/7 have at least an undergrad
- 2/7 have enough credits for a Master’s and just haven’t gotten it together to finish (ahem, DG!)
- 3/7 have tatoos, 1/7 are females with tattoos but 2/7 are females with belly button rings (that’s not me)
- 7/7 have had piercings of some sort, including ears
- 5/7 smoked at one point, although only 3/7 still do (because they aren’t smart like the 2/7 of us who never did it in the first place)
- 6/7 have been married at some point, 2/7 have been divorced (and one of those divorced STILL LIVES WITH MY PARENTS)
- 4/7 have children. 1/7 has one on the way.
- 6/7 of us had Ford vehicles at the same time. 1/7 of us has two Toyotas because their husband wouldn’t never buy a Ford, even on his death bed.
- 1/7 STILL LIVE WITH OUR PARENTS.
- 1/7 of us currently own a dog. Hmmmm…who could that be?
- 4/7 of us currently own cats. Again, not me.
- 2/7 of us were born with red hair. 3/7 of us were born towheads. That means that 2/7 of us were born with brown hair. 1/7 of us became a strawberry blonde as she got older. Can you guess which one?
- 1/7 of us are married to a man named Isaac. Who could that be?
- 4/7 of us have spectrum-y kids.
- 7/7 of us took music lessons of some sort and learned to play an instrument.
- 3/7 of us were teachers at one time. 1/7 of us is crazy enough to go back and get his Secondary Ed degree because being a cop isn’t punishment enough, apparently.
- 5/7 of us work full time during the day (or night, depending on the shift) outside the home. 2/7 of us are currently SAHMs who work part time at night doing something-or-other. 1/7 of us has been home for EIGHT YEARS AND FORGETS WHAT IT IS LIKE ON THE OUTSIDE!!!
- 2/7 live in Delaware. Yup. Delaware. It’s…well, Delaware.
- 1/7 has a CDL license. 2/7 have a motorcycle license that somehow went unused when the lady-folk showed up. 7/7 of us can legally operate a motorized vehicle. Unfortunately.
- 7/7 have cable at present. That’s because my mother pays bills for 2/7 of us. And I’m not one of them. (Bitter? NAH! NOT ME!)
- 1/7 of us is in his twenties, 1/7 of us is in her forties. That means 5/7 of us are in their thirties and ONE OF THOSE IN THEIR THIRTIES STILL LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS
There. I hope that leaves you with a better understanding of fractions. Stay tuned tomorrow when I discuss ratios and percents using my children as examples. They love it when I do this, trust me. This may be because they have no idea I do this. I’m not sure. Could be. Aren’t you glad you get to step inside DG’s brain?