May 13, 2008 by Marj Hatzell
Alrighty. Can anyone answer these questions for me? Inquiring minds wanna know:
- Why do the most miserable people on the planet work at Panera? I mean, I go in there to get bagels and I almost feel guilty for bothering them.
- If you know it is gonna be super-windy, why don’t you bring in your trashcan? I know you are home. I saw you, you lazy something-something-something.
- Why is it that when I am out of a ton of stuff from one particular store and I only have this morning to go there (or else it has to wait until Friday) and the power has to be out when I get there and there is no way to ring up a purchase? Is it just me?
- Why does everyone return phone calls at the same time? Is there some law that everyone I’ve called for appointments MUST call at the same EXACT TIME?
- Why in the heck did I take five kids to the library when they had INDOOR RECESS because it has been pouring all day? (boing, boing, boing)
- Why is it I know I shouldn’t have anymore children because I have this tendency to bleed to death and yet I desperately want to have another child?
- Is there some reason I suddenly crave nothing but potatoes and bread? And I give in?
- Is it a miracle that Bug Boy is suddenly happy and cooperative and following directions and willing to do homework without a knock-’em-out fight? Or is there something else going on. Stay tuned.
- Why the heck did I have to have scrapple at breakfast?
- Why are most members of my family decent, hard-working individuals and then there’s my brother Bill? I mean, we all came from the same family. Why is he still living with my parents at thirty-one, not saving any money, getting pulled over by cops constantly and still acts like a total jerk? Why won’t he grow up?
- Why the heck did I buy those freaking rubber clogs that are so popular right now? And WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE SO COMFORTABLE? ACK! I swore I’d never wear them.
- Why will Bugaboo have a B.M. on the toilet but will not pee? Why is it that the instant he puts the pull-up back on he pees in it and then takes it off and asks for a new one? Little turkey…
- Why does it have to be so gorgeous? I just wanna goof off today, but I have food shopping to do and plants to plant, since yesterday was a total wash. Literally. Get it? Total wash? Rain? HAHAHAHAHA! Well, at least I thought it was funny.