The One Where I Get All Nervous


April 15, 2008 by Marj Hatzell

So, like, today is conference day.  You know, where I go in and talk to Bug Boy’s teachers and they’re all, “Look!  He’s doing great!”  And I’m all, “Wow!  He’s doing great!”  and then they’re all, “Well, except for this social/emotional stuff.  But other than that, he’s doing great!”  And I’m all, “I’m the worst Mommy Ever.”

I stay in pretty close contact with the teachers. I see them often when I am at the school and I take every opportunity to talk to his homeroom teacher.I do not, however, see his OT and Speech Therapist, so I really have no idea how that is going.  Except that he is getting stronger in fine motor areas and he is beginning to be able to classify things (parts of speech) and answer W questions. It is obvious that things are improving.

My fear with Bug Boy is that his explosive anger prohibits him from making and maintaining friendships.  One minute they all want to be his friend because he is funny and talkative and the life of the party. He really doesn’t care what anyone thinks (mostly because he isn’t aware of what anyone thinks). The problem is that the next minute he freaks out on his best buddy and gets uninvited to a party.  I think that sometimes they are afraid of him, as if they are walking around him on eggshells. Believe me, I know what THAT feels like.  We constantly feel like we are working twice as hard to keep the peace and therefore we lose energy very quickly.

The good news is that Bug Boy really is having a FABULOUS first grade year with his FABULOUS multi-age teacher.  She is so sweet and loving and kind, the perfect person to work with Bug Boy.  He is also working with the Inclusion teacher at least once a week (sometimes more if the schedule allows) and is seeing the school counselor.  Added together with the things we do outside of school (sports, Spanish, play dates, Therapist) we are making huge strides.  I know he is doing well NOW but we have to keep things in place for when he is older.  Fourth and Fifth Grade is when kids like Bug Boy really fall apart. I don’t even want to think about his transition to middle school.

Sigh.  It’s supposed to get easier, isn’t it?  And yet, I worry more and more.  That’s where potatoes come in.  Nature’s perfect miracle drug, if you ask me.  The only way it can get better is if we add cheese to those mighty potatoes.  And I do. Add cheese, I mean.  It’s a wonder I can keep my girlish figure, what with all those calories and fat and all.  I’m wondering where I get enough exercise to work all of that off.  Hmmmm…I wonder.  It’s almost like I run around all day chasing a little boy or something.  Like, a five-year-old boy. Can’t quite put my finger on it, but this sure sounds familiar…hmmm…


9 thoughts on “The One Where I Get All Nervous

  1. FireMom says:

    Cheesy potatoes? I’m on my way over.

  2. RuthWells says:

    We need to get together to talk ’bout these things. We’ve been there and I’ve spent sleepless nights over these exact issues. The short version of the talk is that is does get better. I was panicked about Q going to middle school, and he’s having a fabulous year. So go know.

  3. He’s going to do great. The fact that you care and take a role is the most important thing. I can assure you that my mother and her teacher friends always said it was never the kid whose mother showed up at meetings they worried about –despite whatever were the issues or no issues with the child. It was the parents who had no effing clue what their kid was doing or not doing and didn’t bother to show up that were headed for trouble.

    He’s going to be OK. I just know it. Get some sleep and a massage. I promise!

  4. romancechick says:

    Easier? It’s supposed to get easier? I have two kids with no developmental problems and I don’t sleep at night because of the stress of financial aid for college next year and prom stuff and the Boy getting reds and handling his birthday party this weekend. Oh and roaches in the bathroom first thing in the morning! Gotta love the South!

    Oh, and Doctor Who monsters that keep the Boy from being able to go into his room in the dark or the bathroom in the mornings! But he’s addicted to Doctor Who so even when we tell him not to watch because he gets scared, he doesn’t care!

    So when is this supposedly easier part?

  5. Mmmm, cheesy potatoes. And I don’t believe for even a second that you could possibly be the worst mommy ever. Way, way too much love over here on this here blog thing.

  6. HG says:

    How did it go? Huh? Huh? Share share!

  7. janet says:

    You don’t want to hear this, and all your readers will hate me for saying it, so quit reading if you’re going to blame me. Sometimes the blunt truth is good for a person. If not for you, then maybe for me.
    Your blog describes my life almost to a T. But that was 16 years ago. Now my daughter has run away from home as soon as she turned 18, living in another state, prostituting, drug running, in jail, homeless, and mother of 2 babies. With all the work and all the hope that we had, she never really changed. She advanced some, just because she was growing up…but she always remained just as different from and as scarey to everyone out side her family. 21 years later, and I am dejected, broken from all the work and with the outcome. (Which I was told about when she was a pre-schooler, and I wouldn’t listen to, because she was making “such progress”.) Sorry to tell you this sorry tale. My advice? Keep my words in the way back of your mnind, and then keep working, and never give up. Imagine where they’d be if we did!

  8. Janet,
    I welcome any and all comments on my blog. Sometimes the ugly truth is just as important. And, your story about your daughter? Very familiar, as two of my brothers have had similar struggles (not the pregnancy part or homeless part, because they lived with my parents because my parents are suckers). The drugs, losing jobs, dropping out of high school, you name it. Now, one brother has cleaned up his act (turns out he was bi-polar and probably autistic) and is doing well. The other still has the string of lost jobs, girlfriends, divorce, drugs and still lives with my parents at 31. Some things never change.

    I’ll never give up. NEVER. I know it is dangerous for him because I’ve seen it with my brothers. Because of them, I’ll work twice as hard. And if everything turns out that it is still going to sh*t, At least I know I tried. And I hope you know that you did your best for your daughter. There is only so much you can do.

    Thanks for visiting. Please come back again!

  9. Angela says:

    Mmmm…and chili… don’t forget to add chili.

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