DG’s Big PHAT Autism Post for World Autism Day.


April 2, 2008 by Marj Hatzell

Howdy, y’all! This is a super-long post (NO WAAAY! DG Posting a long post? Who woulda thunk it?) . If y’all don’t have time to read it now, please come back later. I won’t disappoint. Promise. Pinky swear. Or maybe it will disappoint, in which case I have to tell you. Don’t tell me I suck. I don’t handle rejection well.


Chances are someone you love or someone you know has Autism. Or someone you know or love knows someone or loves someone with Autism. Or, your next-door-neighbor’s cousin’s former roommates knows someone or loves someone with Autism. Or maybe your best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who knows someone or loves someone with Autism. Or maybe you’ve just seen Rainman. Either way, it has touched you in some way, shape or form.

As you know, we’re a bit affected around Casa Del DG. Just a teensy, little bit. A wafer thin. And although I do my best to dwell on the positives and surround myself with people who believe in my little men, sometimes it downright stinks. Literally. Poo stinks. And some days (like today!) I am up to my eyeballs in it. I mean, 99 44/100% of the time I am just fine with it. This is my life, after all. This is what I’ve been given and I’m gonna make the best of it, come H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks or high water. We are happy, loved and don’t need a darn thing. But the other 56/1oo%? Yeah, it’s a little difficult.

Autism is actually a very cool thing. There, I said it. It is intriguing. It is a big freaking mystery. It is inspiring and brings out the passion in me. It makes me a better mother and wife. It makes me take a good look at myself once in a while and say, “SNAP OUT OF IT! YOU DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SELF PITY!” It also makes me count my blessings, every single one. Without Autism, I doubt my life would be as good as it is today. You see, Autism made me stop and smell the roses. Autism taught me about unconditional love. Autism made me grow up (sorta. Ask my sister, I’m still a big baby.). Autism helps me to see the silver lining, the bright side, the glass-half-full. Autism helped me find God again.

So, I wanna be one of the Autism Mommies that doesn’t tell the whole world how difficult her life is but how awesome it is. Would y’all do me a teensy favor? Pretty please? With sugar on top? Would you just either link to this post, or tell one friend, or post something about being Autism awareness month? I’ll tell you why. See, the whole world of Autism can be political, just like Democrats versus Republicans. And don’t forget about the Independents and the Ralph Naders. We’ve got them, too. There is some hairy, controversial stuff in the Autism world right now. Lotsa angry people. Lotsa people who hate Autism. Lotsa people who want it to go away and find a cure and a cause and blame the government and blame the docs and blame Big Pharma (please don’t do this, the irony is that our bread and butter is Big Pharma!). That is their right. Lotsa people want to give their kids procedures, medicines, supplements, vitamins, special diets and such. That’s their right, too. In fact, there are folks who wanna study it, find out the EXACT CAUSE and why the numbers are rising so much and want to eradicate it. They want to be able to do prenatal testing. They wanna know the genetic link so they can trick Mother Nature.

Now, you may be saying, what’s wrong with getting rid of it? What’s wrong with making your child feel better? What’s wrong with curing them? What’s wrong with eradicating it for future generations? Well, it just so happens that I’m gonna tell you. Because I’m all generous and nice like that. See, while I don’t dispute that sometimes life sucks with Autism, I am gonna argue that no matter what life one gets, one can still find fault with it. Sometimes life just sucks. That’s human nature. So don’t blame Autism. Sometimes life doesn’t seem fair. Who ever said life was fair? I’m here to show you what is RIGHT with Autism. Wanna see? Do you? Look fast, because tomorrow these pics are coming down. You know, Internets security and all that.

(see?  Told you. I took most of them down.  Sorry ’bout that.)


I have no idea why anyone would want to get rid of that awesomeness right there. (No, you can’t have ’em. NOT YOURS.)

Now, see, I’m the first to acknowledge there is some grieving. There is some pain. Cry for the days you thought you would have. Go ahead, cry. It’s healthy. It’s cathartic. It keeps Kleenex in business. And then you realize you have to get over it and move on. Being sad and depressed and feeling like crap because you heard those words (“You’re child has Autism“) doesn’t help anything. I did that for about two weeks and then I realized I was being a selfish beyotch. It isn’t a death sentence. It isn’t a terminal disease. THERE IS NO SHAME IN AUTISM. Believe it or not, there is hope. Hope that your child will live up to HIS potential. Hope that she will be the best she is MEANT to be. Not what you want. Not want others want. Therapy helps. Sometimes diets help. Sometimes meds help. Heck, even I tried the volcano water (hey, didn’t hurt anything, right?). That was during my ANGER phase. I was angry. Why me? Why us? Couldn’t it be someone who really deserved it?

Why not me?

I deserve this! I couldn’t think of a better person for this job.
If you know someone who needs a friendly ear, a good cry or a big hug, let them know I am here. Also? Encourage them to click on some of the Autism Stuff on my sidebar. You can also check some stuff out here. And here. And maybe here. And you know what? I’ll tell them how it really is. How you have to read tons and do tons of research to find out what works best for YOUR family. How I do clean up tons of poo. How I have a lake in my backyard. How I long to hear his voice. How I wish the Bug Boy would just stop with the meltdowns. How I have this neurotic dog.

And how I have a totally awesome life, thanks to Autism.

See? It isn’t all bad. In fact, it’s really, really good.

20 thoughts on “DG’s Big PHAT Autism Post for World Autism Day.

  1. Cryssyer says:

    You ARE the best one for the job. And you do an AMAZING job at that. Because of you, I am able to undertand Bugaboo better and have forged a bond that I am forever grateful for. Yes, this was an awesome post, but you are more awesome. Bless you!

  2. Jacki says:

    They are so adorable!!

  3. HG says:

    Your boys are adorable! I’ll go link to this right now.

  4. Sarah says:

    Great post…it is inspiring to hear a positive side to autism. You don’t generally hear that. Your kids are adorable!

  5. Trace says:

    I’ll link.

  6. AbbysMomam says:

    Woman…you are an inspiration. And, quite entertaining…not sure which has me reading everyday but I am always here even though I don’t comment much. Hmmm…I suppose another reason could be that I know you IRL. lol

    I’ll link you up on the ole’ blog today.

    Hope you don’t mind, but I’m gonna post another Autism related linkydoo too. This is from a digital scrapbook designer whose life has been touched as well.

  7. RuthWells says:

    It’s too early in the morning for my mascara to be running. Brat.

    I couldn’t have said any of it better myself.

  8. whiskeychick says:

    Great post. I’m a person who knows someone who loves someone with autism so it doesn’t directly affect me on a daily basis. Needless to say, I don’t know too much about it and that puts the fear into me. As someone who is trying to get pregnant later in life, all forms of “issues” that could happen to the future child scare me. Autism and Down’s Syndrome are the top two. Thanks for sharing and showing me that if something like that does happen, it isn’t the end of the world. I just hope that I’d be as strong as you are.

  9. stephanie says:

    Great photos – those smiling faces make it all worth it.

  10. Linky love coming your way.

    Thanks for such a wonderful post. I appreciated the Kleenex comments in the end. I was once asked about my time working in psychiatry what was the hardest part. Everyone generally thinks it is dealing with the patient issues. I said with confidence that while the patients had their challenges that was not the hardest part. It was telling the Mommys and Daddies of the world that their 18-year-old that they sent off to college and is now in a locked psych unit going to be released, but they will not be going back to college because they are schitzophrenic. I cried more times than I was professionally supposed to with those parents. Their pain was also mine pain…

    You know what though, we are all going to be OK as long as we have each other and hope for a better tomorrow.

  11. Maybe I could spell that correctly: schizophrenic.

  12. […] The Domestic Goddess brought this special day to our attention. […]

  13. Kelly says:

    Awesome post from an awesome lady.

  14. Tracey says:

    Just beautiful. You are a great writer. You brought tears to my eyes.
    You really should try and get yourself published. The world would be better for it.

  15. Rachel says:

    Amazing post. I linked to it in my post today. I LOVE your attitude.

  16. Kristin says:

    Beautiful pictures. Just beautiful. Beautiful kids. Beautiful mom. Beautiful words.

  17. nutmeg says:

    This was excellent – and I learned. Your boys? May I please take a bite?

  18. Anjali says:

    Love the post, and love those adorable little boys. That last picture, especially, melts me to the core!

  19. petunia says:

    I always admire anyone who is so enthusiastic about a great cause. I think Autism is fascinating too but it is exhausting for the parents. My nephew was adopted from Russia in 1995 and he was fine until he was about three or three and 1/2. He has Asperger’s. He also has terrets and attachment disorder. He was not held the first year of his life. So, he has a few other things working on him as well. He tried to set the house on fire last week and my brother and SIL can’t sleep in fear he may hurt himself or them. SOMETHING has to be done to find out more about these diseases….it will take a BIG celebrity to have a child with Autism for there to be more done, more moeny poured into research. Look what M.J. Fox has done for Parkinson’s research.
    God bless you – you have beautiful boys!

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