April 1, 2008 by Marj Hatzell
You know parents have to do that annoying thing, where they see their kid show a teensy pinky’s worth of talent and so they exploit that and start thinking their kid is gonna be the next football-acting-singing-art star? Yeah, I do that, too. Except, I am not exactly sure what kind of job Bug Boy is gonna get having this gift of reading and playing video games. No one makes money off of finding all of the minikits in Star Wars Lego, I’m sure of it. Also? Not throwing stuff away EVEN WHEN IT IS TRASH only leads to being one of those poor folks on Oprah and 20/20. You know, the ones with OCD so bad that they can’t even live in their OWN HOUSE? I mean, I’d love for him to be famous. But not for being the town whacko, the guy that picks through everyone’s trash before the squirrels have a chance to pilfer the apple cores and coffee grounds. I mean, Bug Boy is good at TONS OF STUFF. He loves learning languages, including sign language. He loves math and reading. He loves making contraptions (like a pipe cleaner, a mini flash light and a lincoln log can be configured to provide light under a bunk bed so as to read far past one’s bedtime). He loves picking his nose…uh…you get the idea. I have no doubt in my mind that Bug Boy will eventually have a job that he likes (or at least tolerates), have a family and spend all of his free time in the garage or cutting grass or playing video games, just like his father. And yes, before you ask, the husband HAS cut the grass already this spring. Yes, on Easter.
Bugaboo on the other hand? He keeps me guessing. One week he’s all into Gregorian Chant and I think, OK, we can work with this. He can be a monk. A monk who likes to be nekkid under his robe and cuts grass all day. He’s already taken a vow of silence, so this could work well. Bugaboo also likes to swing on my curtains and in his cocoon swing, so we’re thinking, Hey! That looks like aerial gymnastics! He’d be good at that! Now, help me put this curtain rod back up. He also loves buses, so we figure he could drive a bus someday. Or at least sit on one and open and close the door eighty times and then open the stop sign about thirty times in between. And then his current fascination this week surfaces. Scissors. Hmmmm…
Scissors. He steals scissors and waves them in front of his face, licks them, kisses them, smells them, tries to cut his hair. Lucky for me? He steals the safety scissors or the craft/crinkle scissors, which couldn’t cut a hangnail. He’s only gotten the Mommy Scissors once. This leaves me scratching my head. A barber? Oh Lordy, no. Not Sweeney Todd. That’s all we need. I have no inclination to ever have a meat pie. So what then? Scissors, scissors. Oh. No. I was just thinking. Have you ever seen THIS movie? OMGWTFBBQ. Let’s hope not.
I’m hoping next week he suddenly has a thing for Physics. Or playing tennis or golf. Or singing opera.
ETA: Ruth was kind enough to point out that there is also a chance he could be Edward Scissorhands. Much more pleasant thought than Sweeney Todd. And both roles played by the same
Sexy Hottie actor, Johnny Depp. YUM!