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See, I Had This Other Post Written

3

March 11, 2008 by Marj Hatzell

The Dog Ate My Homework.

No, not really. Just seeing if you are paying attention. I had this other post written, and about twenty seconds after I wrote it I decided it was less tongue-in-cheek and more grossly-offending-others. I’ve deleted it. But if you wanna see what I was writing about, here it is.

Blame it on sleep deprivation. There is something about getting up at 1:30 am with your screaming, non-verbal five-year-old who INSISTS on going to sit on the couch in the dark, won’t let you cover him up, won’t allow you to cover YOU up and wants to sit there and chat to himself for three hours until he dozes off sitting up…Anyways, perhaps I should head back to bed, since I can. I need my beauty sleep.

Especially since I am doing something WAY TOO COOL tonight. So incredibly cool. I’m going bowling (STOP LAUGHING. I AM GOING BOWLING.). With girls. And not just ANY girls. A few of the girls listed over there ——>

And one in particular. A good pal of mine. We go way back. Waaaay back. I mean, totally BFFs for life. Our kids go to the same school. She lives five minutes away, a block from my old humble abode. And by BFFs for life, I mean, we’ve met twice and I don’t think she knows my first name, but what evs…It’ll be a riot. And since I don’t get out much, I’ll have plenty to report.

I worked in a bowling alley, once. In fact, it was where I met my husband. I was dating his friend, I met Darling one night when he came in to pick-up said friend, and he stood there while we were introduced and stared at his feet and didn’t say a word. I thought he was waaaaay cute. He thought I was waaaaaay cute. And neither one of us did anything about that for about a week, until we went to said friend’s twenty-first birthday party and started talking and said friend’s ex showed up, so I was all, “&*^$* said friend! I’m hooking up with the reticent one over here!” And he was all, “She’s waaaaay cute and perky.” So the rest is history. Except some of it I do not remember (yes, there was alcohol involved. Southern Comfort. Can I get a collective, “EEEEEEWWWWW!!!!!” over SoCom puke? Thanks.). So is it history if you don’t remember it? I dunno.

But don’t be scared of my mean bowling skillz, y’all. I worked in an alley, but my high score is about 56. No turkeys here. I’ll be the comedy relief for the evening. I’ll be the one NOT drinking whilst bowling and I’ll still have the lowest score. Because…I’m letting them win. Yeah, that’s it. I’m LETTING them win, so as to make a good impression and so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings. That’s it. That’s the ticket…

3 thoughts on “See, I Had This Other Post Written

  1. Paula says:

    Hmmm, as a conflicted cafeteria (pick-n-choose) Catholic, I wanna read what you were writing.

    But now I’m gonna shoplift some condoms from Rite Aid, sleep with my neighbor’s husband (after we enjoy a salad of Monsanto-engineered produce) , and then throw the used prophylactics in the street. So, math girl, how many sins will I be committing? Heh……. If there were no separation of church and state, science would be in the toilet.

  2. Lauren says:

    At first I thought that article about the Vatican was in The Onion. Sadly, no.

    Yes, you are still perky. Perky to the nth power, actually. Do you ever stop moving? What are you on? I want me some.

    I promise to post after my bowling arm recovers from that amazing 40-scoring game I bowled.

  3. This sounds so fun. I know it already happened, but I’m going backwards now through your posts. And I don’t people have to know your first name for you to be friends. What ev, ha, ha.

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