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And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

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January 7, 2008 by Marj Hatzell

I took the dog for a walk this morning.  A leisurely, happy walk.  Fresh air!  Exercise!  PEACE AND QUIET!   Do you know what today is?  Today is Bugaboo’s first day back to school since before Christmas Vacation. For those of you not good at math, that’s nearly three weeks off.

When Bugaboo is home I cannot take the dog for a walk by myself. I can either walk with Bugaboo OR I can walk with Shadow.  Bugaboo runs away too often if I do not hold his hand.  I cannot steer the stroller and walk the dog at the same time (I think there must be something off with my coordination) and pulling the wagon and walking the dog with the other hand?  Not gonna happen.  I’ve walked them both once or twice and came home twice as angry as when I left. Not a pleasurable experience. About the only way I can walk the dog AND Bugaboo at the same time is to wait for Bug Boy, Polite Boy, Little Miss and Middle Child to get off the bus at the end of the day and take ALL FIVE OF THEM for a walk at the same time, so the girls can hold onto to Bugaboo or Polite Boy can hold onto Shadow.  Since this is akin to shoving hot iron pokers in my eyes or bathing myself in a vat of acid, I rarely do it. Unless I am into pure torture that day.

We all overslept a bit this morning so everyone was all, “I’m super-cranky and I’m just gonna whine and slam things and stomp my feet!” and I was all, “My jaws hurt because I’m clenching my teeth so hard in a mundane attempt to control my urge to scream at my little heathens.”  Darling made sure he was out the door in record time, since he could no doubt hear our little offspring wailing through the sound of the shower.  With the doors closed and the vent on.  I’m sure the neighbors heard us, too.  The ones three blocks over.  I could barely get them to eat and take their medications and was only too happy to shove them out the door to their respective buses, both of them sniffling and complaining as they left.  It was TOTALLY falling on deaf ears, folks.  I mean, with the three weeks I’ve had (ear infections, flu, stomach bugs, poo season, etc.) I could care less. Even Bug Boy’s feigning a fever was totally lost on me. I was all, “Suck it up. You are going.  Go to the nurse at school if you feel that badly!” which is about the same time I resolved to turn my cell phone off when I go to the gym in a few minutes.

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