These Truths


August 31, 2007 by Marj Hatzell

Things that are going to happen, no matter how much I rebel against them and wish it wouldn’t:

  • Bugaboo is going to strip nekkid
  • Bug Boy is going to be anxious about changes in his routine, no matter how much he wants the change
  • Darling is going to work sh*tty hours
  • Shadow is going to get into diapers if I leave them about
  • When ten children are in my home, the basement WILL return to tornado status
  • When Bugaboo AND Bug Boy are home all day, the housework WILL get backed up
  • There ain’t much point to doing housework until the weekend
  •  I will forget appointments, play dates, coffee dates, etc if I don’t write them in my tome planner
  • I will have sinus trouble in August due to air conditions and hay weed
  • Vegetables will rot if not eaten
  • If I don’t make a list of chores, they won’t get done, in any order
  • If I don’t make a grocery list, I will forget something, even if I pick it up and hold it in my hand
  • If I leave dirty clothes on the floor, Bugaboo will pick them up and put them on no matter HOW disgusting they are(ahem, husband’s unders and work clothes!)
  • If I leave a drink sitting about unattended, Bugaboo WILL put his hands in it and stim, even if it is a totally sticky drink, like a milkshake.  Nothing is exempt.
  • If I leave the computer unattended, Bugaboo WILL change the settings, open forty windows, change the time zone to Papua/New Guinea and do about one hundred screen captures before your hard drive freezes up
  • If I put Tubbies on, Bugaboo WILL sit still for a few minutes, but only if you are in the room. Putting laundry in guarantees he will strip and pee on the carpet
  • If I don’t pick the vegetables in the garden they will go bad, fall to the ground and attract the dang rabbits and squirrels (which makes Shad Roe insanely happy)
  • If I do not eat, I will get hungry and tired
  • If I do not drink something, I will get thirsty
  • If I go to the kids’ favorite grocery store, they WILL want to get a roll, no matter how much they’ve just eaten. Fresh rolls have a strong, magnetic attraction to children.  Or maybe it is the other way around
  • Bugaboo is going to be off-schedule after four days of being off from school, no matter how much I try to keep him going
  • If I don’t cook dinner, the kids will be peevish because they are hungry. Although they can get their own snacks, cheese sticks aren’t dinner.  Who woulda thought?
  • Darling is going to want to “snuggle” at least once a week, no matter how stressed out I am and no matter how tired.

5 thoughts on “These Truths

  1. BOSSY says:

    Right, so you may as well just have a martini.

  2. MommaHen :) says:

    Sweetie! A little negative today? 😉 Now, your assignment: write the same amount of things you are thankful for!

    love ya

  3. bigdadgib says:

    Great post…

    I love it

  4. SirO says:

    Thank you for doing a great job as a mommy. You put such great effort and love into your boys.

    /There’s got to be a drink made with cucumbers somewhere in the world


  5. Angela says:

    Some things just happen.

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