August 15, 2007 by Marj Hatzell
Once upon a time there was a Handsome Prince named Darling and his beautiful
wife nag princess Queen DG. Prince Darling and Queen DG were very happy. They were so happy they bought a humble shack stately castle after they lived in sin a few years got married and decided that eventually they would stop procrastinating avoiding starting a family lovingly adopt a dog. Since Prince Darling was a sucker for hardluck cases very compassionate they went to their local SPCA on a special quest (or six, over a period of two years) to find an animal that fit into their humble abode stately castle. They soon found Shadow the S ick and Full of Worms Happy and Friendly and brought her home. And there was much rejoicing. (Yaaaaay).
Since Prince Darling and Queen DG were
insane very happy they thought, “Hey, this isn’t so bad! We can raise kids! Let’s get started right away! And by right away, we mean in a few weeks, because it is St. Patty’s Day and Christmas babies are SO. MUCH. FUN.” Soon Prince Darling and Queen DG found themselves the exhausted and shell-shocked proud parents of Prince Bug Boy the Puker. They figured they’d get around to “family planning” sooner or later and fifteen months later (because they waited to “plan” their family. That is, they failed to “plan”) Prince Bugaboo the Pee-er. And there was much rejoicing. (Yaaaaaay)
By then Prince Darling and Queen DG were fairly certain they were going to “plan” their family. They were also fairly certain they needed a
bigger house more spacious castle. They began a crusade to find a new kingdom. True to form, they spent the next three years searching, going to open houses, going to more open houses, decided to stay in their current castle, changing their minds, putting agreements down on houses, removing said agreements and procrastinating more and more until one day they were driving home from Queen DG’s brother’s home and three blocks away they found a lovely twenty-year-old, three bedroom, 2.5 bath two-story colonial single on a 1/3 acre lot with a three car garage, eat-in kitchen, vaulted family room with fireplace and finished basement in a phenomenal school district kingdom where the taxes were actually comparable to what the Prince and Queen were paying previously in Ridley (and boy did they feel sick when they found that out). So they hemmed and hawed for three weeks put in an agreement right away and got the house castle. And there was much rejoicing. (Yaaaaay)
Since then, everything that Prince Darling and Queen DG bought has taken six months or more of procrastinating planning. They are
too lazy to make very careful in their choices. It only takes them a year or so of researching cars before they purchase one and two years to decide on siding colors. In fact, once they decided to get siding done it only took THREE WEEKS to pick a roof color to go with the siding. Now THAT’s progress.
Just don’t ask if they are packed for vacation or if the trash is out yet.