August 7, 2007 by Marj Hatzell
I do not enjoy shaving.
You may remember this post, in which I explained (in excruciating detail) the variety of hair removal products and methods I’ve tried. And I know it was as exciting as watching paint dry (which, for some reason, I find exciting!) Believe me, I’ve tried just about everything. And, because I am the kind and benevolent blawger that I am, I will rehash it for you. Because I care, you know.
The problem with hair removal is that no matter how it is removed, the end result (for me, anyways) is always the same: horrible, itchy, rashy razor burn-y(is that a word? It is now!) bumpy, pimple-like welts. My legs usually do not get the worst of it, au contraire! I get a little redness and itchiness and a slight similarity to the measles for a day or so. The armpits? Not so good. They end up with painful and infected pimple-like growths that take days to heal (forget shaving the next day! And the bikini line? Without going into gory detail, let’s just say it is the armpits, times ten. I use a new razor each time. I use hypoallergenic shaving cream. When I use Nair or Veet it is worse, so I know it isn’t just the razor. I’ve tried moisturizing like crazy, using special skin prep treatments, expensive shaving creams, waxing, sugaring you name it. I still get bumps. Welts, even. Sometimes hives, most of the time boils and once in a while it goes away without incident. In the meantime, I wear nothing but capri pants and teeshirts in the summer with an occasional long skirt. If I am feeling somewhat brave (and it is no more than four hours after I’ve attempted to remove hair) I wear a tank top. I know, I know, sensitive skin. But this happens winter, spring, summer and fall. The Dermatologist has no answers for me. Believe me, we are intimate, the Derm doc and I.
So, bloggy world, I now turn to you for help.
Please. Please, I am begging you. I will try ANYTHING. I’ve surfed the ‘net looking for tried-and-true only to try them and find out the truth is the method sucks. I’ve tried creams from the Derm. I’ve tried cold baths. I’ve tried hot baths. I’ve tried letting in grow in. I’ve tried shaving it off faster. I’ve tried dyeing my hair blue, stripping nekkid and dancing around a sacrificial fire on the full moon (well, maybe not that). The thing is, nothing seems to work. Permit me to tell you, this huuuuurts. Wearing underwear makes it worse. I know you were all just DYING to know that in addition to not wearing antiperspirant (I wear a natural deodorant, only when I have to) that I try not to wear underwear when I’ve tried hair removal. Because you all want to know about my underwearing habits, I could tell.