July 19, 2007 by Marj Hatzell
You forgot to study, didn’t you? Serves you right. Put your name at the top of the paper, don’t share your paper with your neighbors and erase cleanly. You have ten minutes. No peeking at the answers until you are finished.
1. How many college majors did DG have before she obtained her BSed Special Ed?
a)3 – but she isn’t flighty, just well read
b)2 – She just wanted to be sure
c)1- It just took nine years because she wanted to take her time and waste tons of money
d) DG went to college? She doesn’t seem that well-educated to me! Don’t let her teach children!
2. What type of vehicle was the Holy Grail?
a) I will pretend you didn’t insult me and ask me that question
b) A VW bus, ’cause you guys are hippies
c) A Mazda Speed-6 because he deserves it
d) Holy Grail? Wasn’t that an Indiana Jones Movie?
3. How many siblings does DG have (no cheating, Dino Boy’s mom)
a) She’s an only child, lucky devil!
b) seven. Lucky number.
c) Six. Six plus one is seven.
d) DG has siblings?
4. What are DG’s favorite foods?
c) Potatoes and Cheese
d) All of the above
e) Mushrooms and Oatmeal…MMMM! Texture!
5. What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
b) What time did the train leave the station?
c) What do you mean, African or European?
d) DG, please take your Zoloft.
Answers:1=a (DG also graduated with 120 extra credits. How many people can say they did that?), 2=a (Puhlease! We all know he is OCD about jeeps! SHEESH!), 3= c (because six siblings plus DG equals seven kids. She may pretend she is an only child, but that’s because she is selfish and immature), 4=d (if it involves cheese, potatoes, potatoes and cheese or cheese and potatoes you guessed correctly. If you picked e, stop reading and never come back to this site. Ever.) and 5=c (if you didn’t get this, please go rent some Python movies).
If you scored all five correct, you are either a stalker or related to DG, in which case you should have forfeited since that is cheating.
If you scored 3-4 correct then you are reading and lurking and that makes DG happy. Nothing boosts the ego like strangers on the internets knowing your intimate details, like how you get dressed in the closet.
If you scored 1-2 you need to go back to the Archives and start reading.I am offended you even took the quiz unprepared. Now get to it.
If you scored zero then I am going to my room to cry.
How did you do?