We Finally Have (SOME) Window Treatments


July 16, 2007 by Marj Hatzell

I no longer have to get dressed in my closet.   Apparently, mentioning that I’d be more inclined to snuggle with the husband if I did not feel as if I was living in a fish bowl was enough of a catylist to get him moving.  See, I could have hung the blinds myself, y’all. But I’d rather the husband do it, since touching his cordless drill is akin to touching a poison dart frog or looking at the head of Medusa.  Yes, indeed, you will turn to stone if you touch it.  If I turn to stone I am not much use around here, mmkay?  Let’s just say for the sake of argument that he knows the exact position his tools even though they are in large piles on the garage floor.  And to venture to the garage (aka The Pit of Dispair. Let’s just say Flylady hasn’t visited the garage.  But he claims he knows where it all is) is worse than trying to cross the River Styx and go back again (HA!  I SAID STYX!  I love sneaking in references to my favorite bands).


We managed to get a few blinds hung and  Mother-in-law decided she would come to hang with the boys so we could go have a yummy dinner of comfort food at this great little Irish Pub (Tracy!  We went!) where we had traditional Irish food and I was in heaven to find I could get Strongbow ON TAP!!!  After the yummy comfort-food-dinner it was then decided we’d head back to the Home Improvement Store to get the blinds for our bedroom, since they had to be specially cut and we did not want to mess it up since they were much more expensive. Only we got to the store and there were signs hanging on the blind cutters that they were ALL out of order.  All eight of them. In other words, they had no one there to cut blinds that night.  We considered custom ordering the blinds, which would take three-to-four weeks, but that doubled the price.

So we headed to another local Home Improvement Store a few minutes away (gotta love big, corporate chain stores, one on every corner like Mormon Churches in Utah).  We walked around until we found someone in an orange apron, not an easy task on a Saturday evening.  WRONG.  They work in kitchens, we need someone in blinds or floors.  After ten minutes of searching I finally had it and marched up to the supposed customer service desk (has anyone actually gotten service at this desk?) and talked to a woman so stuck in the eighties I expected Kajagoogoo to walk in the door at any moment.  Let’s just say the eyeliner on the inside of the eyelid, the HUGE sprayed hair, bad perfume, the nails…Ohmygosh.  Anyways, she looked at me like I had two heads (yeah, like she didn’t!) when I asked her to page someone in blinds.  Went back to blinds, found a warm body, she said she’d help because she SORTA knew what to do.   Gulp.  After she broke two blinds and jammed the machine the manager came to help us, at which point the blinds gal finally showed up.  The machine was fixed, they cut one blind but THERE WERE NO MORE LEFT because the clueless floor gal broke the other two. Sigh. We have one blind hung up.  And out of desperation I hung up a sheet…

In case that wasn’t enough excitement, we spent most of yesterday hanging crud up.  Darling takes his sweet ole time at it.  I did some basic housework in between helping him, the kids played, life was good. Darling headed outside to cut back shrubbery (ugly box headges, Oh How I loathe thee) and I was about to hop into the shower when I heard yelling and banging on the door.

Darling was in a panic at the slider and I let him in, since we keep it locked to keep Bugaboo out of the neighbor’s pool when we aren’t looking.  He decided that we hadn’t seen enough of Doctor George at the ER and decided to stir up a Bees’ nest while raking.  Apparently he wanted to make sure we spent loads of time there,so he got six bees to sting him and go on to an untimely death.  Lucky for us, MIL was just up to her elbows in paint and could drop it easily and come over so that I could take Darling to the Emergency Room.  Did you know that if you wrote “ALLERGIC TO BEES, STUNG SIX TIMES” on the intake sheet at the triage desk they take you back in about thirty seconds and put an IV in before you are reclined on the table?  I didn’t either.

A few hours freezing in an ER full of elderly patients (why the heck is it so cold in there, anyways) and we were back home with a groggy, itchy, nauseated Darling whose face only swelled about 25%, believe it or not. Usually he looks like he is growing a new head.  And we found out that even if we did have the bee sting kit available it would have bought him a mere fifteen minutes, which means that by the time I read the directions and injected him with the syringe he might have had his airway close up…

So much for grilled porkchops and homemade mashed potatoes and fried apples.  We had KFC (EW!  What happened to it, it is AWFUL!) and literally fell into bed as soon as the kiddies were tucked in.  In our bedroom with a beautiful blind in one window and a blue sheet taped to it in the other…


2 thoughts on “We Finally Have (SOME) Window Treatments

  1. Trace says:

    There’s also this British pub called Stoney’s on 202 in N. Wilmington. They have cider also and I think the B-E-S-T shephards pie!! I also like the Bridie there, but the shephards pie… And the desserts w/the custard. Very kid friendly low key kind of place. I recommend a visit when you go to your sisters.

  2. Angela says:

    Wow! Glad everything went ok.
    My dad is alergic to many foods if he passed out I don’t think I could stick him with the needle. Growing up I worried about it. I don’t live with my dad so it is my step-mom’s worry now.
    Hopefully soon you will have more blinds.

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