So THIS is What Living In a Fish Bowl Feels Like!


June 27, 2007 by Marj Hatzell

I know how fish feel.

Seriously!  After eight straight days of construction and work on our home, I know what it feels like to have people peering in at us, no doubt examining how we live our life.

In order to get new windows one must remove any and all window treatments. One must also move pieces of furniture far from the windows to give access to said windows.  Therefore, the windows seem HUGE at the moment, since we aren’t procrastinators at all and are actually just deciding what to put back up there.  Yeah, that’s it!  We are deciding!

We had eight days of people staring in our windows while they worked. We had to be here since they had to go in and out often and the Shad Roe was here (who is harmless, but we didn’t want to freak her out too much).  Also, Bugaboo decided to get a stomach virus at the very moment they were due to show up to begin the work (and I mean, THE VERY MOMENT.  They were due at noon that day and he threw up at 11:59) so we ended up house-bound for four days while he recovered.  Then DG started feeling ill and we ended up stuck at home another two days.   Then they were finally finished and we did some outdoor work since the weather was sooooo cooperative.  I called Mother Nature and was all, “Hey!  We need to pull weeds and move dirt, think you can make it about eighty degrees with thirty percent humidity for a few days?”  And she was all, “No problem!  I was thinking of messing with the pool rats and making it go down to fifty so that the pool water was ice cold for them!”  And I was all, “Thanks! I’ll still put on sunscreen!” And she was all (after we hung up the phone), I think I should have told her to be sure to apply that sun screen where the sun don’t usually shine because she is wearing low-waisted pants and her tramp-stamp area is exposed while she is pulling weeds and she doesn’t know it. That’s gonna hurt for a few days.

So here we are, five days with no window treatments. Our front Living Room window still has them because we never took them down, since that window was not replaced (ninety-six inches + new window = $$$$).  And being true Americans we never, ever use the Living Room. Ever.  Never.  Except to walk through it and vacuum it less often than we are supposed to.  Our bedroom?  Nothing on the windows. No blinds, no curtains and I’ve been getting dressed in the closet each day.  As luck would have it, the front of our home faces east, which means we get up by six am in June whether we like it or not.  At night it is a little creepy not being able to close shades.

Why the hold up? Well, there is this teeny-tiny disagreement about what should go back up there. We left a home two years ago that had expensive Fabric blinds (we know they were expensive because we put them in) and moved into a house with cheesy-eighties-cornflower-blue-curtains. We priced proper window treatments and found our that it added a few thousand to our budget so we opted for cheapo pull-down shades until we could afford nicer treatments. I put up some sheers and we were good to go. Until now.  Now that we have NICE NEW WINDOWS I ain’t marring the trim and sash with crappy Home Improvement Store $15 pull-down shades. NO SIR!  I will put up nice, proper blinds.  Because, afterall, one of my huge pet peeves is being able to see colored curtains from the street. Nope, not in my house. That is trailer-trashy not high-class to me (because I grew up with flowered and hideous curtains seen from the street).  Ever since I lived in my first apartment, where we HAD to have white blinds or curtains seen from the outside, I’ve decided that my home will forevermore have white blinds or curtains seen from the street.   (Hmmm…OCD much?) It just looks nicer.  And since I am a June Cleaver/Donna Reed Hibrid and I always wear pearls and high-heels with pantyhose and a slip underneath and my hair is coiffed just so before my well-behaved children rise on time in the morning and my husband arrives at home each day promptly at dinner time and ruffles the boys’ hair before they head to bed and mother and father have a quiet evening reading the paper and sewing…SNORT!!!!

Anywho, I found these HAWESOME wood plantation-type blinds that I want for our bedroom, our bath, the hallway, the dining room and eventually the kitchen.  When the boys are big enough to stop pulling the cheapo shades out of the windows (we don’t even draw their shades anymore) and won’t strangle themselves in the cords, we will consider it.  I know, they are six and four, but trust me when I say that they always find a way to do something when one thinks it is  impossible.

So, at Dino Boy’s Mom’s request, I post the picture of the newly-added Family Room windows, sans curtains. I have curtains for them, just haven’t gotten to hanging them, yet. And since if I touch the ark drill to put up windows my skin will do the Raiders of the Lost Ark thing and melt off because I am not pure of heart and worthy to touch the ark drill I have wisely decided to wait until the husband gets around to helping me put up my curtains.  Because I am just dying for that quality time together so we can argue about discuss where the curtain hardware should go and how the rods go up.


7 thoughts on “So THIS is What Living In a Fish Bowl Feels Like!

  1. pkzcass says:

    Lol at dressing in the closet! I am NUTS about that stuff. My bedroom windows (three taking up one whole wall) face the street, but hello, we have a big tree right in front so my skanky neighbor across the street can’t see in at all. But I still run behind the wall to dress.

    It looks like the FR faces the side of the house? Sheers would like nice on those windows. I love sheers because I really like to have them billowing in the breeze on a beautiful day (like they did last weekend). We grew up with crappy shades, so I avoid them at all costs.

    I’m not a big fan of blinds but have found them to be the most practical. You can have privacy or open them or whatever. So that’s what we have on most of the house.

    Oh, and I love your FR carpet.

  2. Trace says:

    Very nice!!! As for the window treatments I totally hear you. We have been in our new (to us) house for a year now w/now window treatments. Sweetness is starting to get annoyed and says that he doesn’t like the way you can see in the big bay window in the front of the house, but this is our forever house and I want it to be perfect. I didn’t want a cheapie thing. Around and around we go…

  3. MommyBrain says:

    I laughed out loud over this and woke my husband who is napping on the couch. Love the new family room windows (and the mental image of you getting dressed in your closet which is probably much smaller in my imagination.)

  4. Anjali says:

    Homework Assignment: Must post pictures of window dressings (and price, if you don’t mind) so those of us too lazy to shop around can just copy your ideas.

  5. Crissie says:

    Very Nice!

  6. BOSSY says:

    Don’t fret – Bossy will be along to drop some food into your bowl.

  7. […] around all of the rooms and standing in the kitchen serving food. It used to be a cave until we added the windows last year when the exterior was gussied up to the tune of AN OUTRAGEOUS AMOUNT OF DOLLARS.  Ten […]

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