May 23, 2007 by Marj Hatzell
There is this miracle drug that I take for the wicked back spasms that have accompanied the herniated discs and pinched nerves I earned from LIFTING GROCERIES. This drug has virtually no side-effects! I get a great night’s sleep, I wake up well-rested and not groggy. Since I often have paradoxical reactions to medications, this is a life-saver for me. I tend to stay away from medications in any form, since I fall asleep from taking ibuprofen, people. All five of you. Are you listening?
Anyways, I still only take this drug once in a blue moon and when I really, really, really (for emphasis, I said really THREE TIMES) need it.
But the dreams! OH THE DREAMS!!!!
Some dreams are straight out of a harlequin romance. Talk about HEAVY petting and stuff. I wake up sweating, heart racing and look over at my husband almost with guilt. Some dreams are people screaming at me for being a bad mother and
housekeeper Domestic Engineer or for losing Bugaboo for the nine-millionth time in a week. Yet others are me being paralyzed and not being able to do things like stand up from the toilet or wipe myself. I told you they were funky!
I’ve talked to others that have taken this medication and they’ve reported the same findings. Funky-Ass dreams, waking up in a puddle of sweat, heart racing, kinda not lucid. I’ve talked to the doc and this is one of the side effects. I haven’t decided if the side effects are crappy enough to warrant discontinuing the medications. So far I like the dreams I’ve had, especially the ones where I have a little girl (very far-fetched, given my propensity for bleeding to death) and the ones where I am having Hella-Hot Sex with someone I don’t recognize. Is it bad to like that kind of dream? Too bad. I don’t feel that badly about it. In fact, when I related it to Darling he snickered and then stated, “Well, at least someone around here is having sex.” Ahem. Alrighty then!
Moving Right along…
I cannot wait to see what happens tonight! It is almost like watching a soap-opera, except I hate soap opera and cannot really sit long enough to watch television. That is the cool thing about these dreams! They are super-vivid. They are colorful! At least, they seem that way (don’t start lecturing on how dreams are in black and white, blah, blah, blah). They are interesting and fun. Sigmund Freud would have a field-day interpreting these puppies.