May 10, 2007 by Marj Hatzell
Why is it that I never feel like doing what needs to be done? I am still pushing myself to complete the most mundane of tasks but it isn’t as if people die from carrying laundry and dusting. Or do they? Hmmmm…
I have an entire day to myself again.I would like to get a few things done around the house and then hit the gym to exercise. My body is good to me but I am not always good to my body. I know I need to work out to stay sane and sometimes a week goes by before I have a chance to do it again. Today my body is saying,”DG! Please get off your round posterior and get me to the gym so that the 40yo guy who always makes a point to stop by and chat can stalk you, because after all it has been a week since he creeped you out.” I honestly thought this guy was just being nice and friendly. The prevailing wisdom tells me (in other words, the guy friends I have) that he is more interested in the fact that:
A) I am a young woman with a decent figure
B) I do not wear a ring to the gym
C) He is divorced and lives in the apartments next to the gym and I know this (and what kind of car he drives) only because he wants me to know WHERE HE LIVES AND WHAT KIND OF CAR HE DRIVES
D) I am home during the day, which leaves him plenty of time to get to know me
See, I thought he was just being nice. Honest. But now I am totally creeped out. I have even started going to the gym later to miss him (which isn’t awful, because no one is there at lunchtime!). I do not want anyone thinking that they have a chance with me, we all know that I am extremely taken and not interested. Not to mention the fact that I am what the male friends call “damaged goods, ” meaning I’ve had kids and have been married. But according to them the whole MILF phenomenon is what keeps the 40yo non-virgin from coming by to chat.
Dood. I don’t even think about sex that much these days. I am more interested in getting my workout in, making sure the house is picked up before
Godzilla Doctor Destructo Bugaboo gets off the bus. Plus, there ain’t no way in heck that I would violate my marriage vows. Ewwwwww. It nauseates me just thinking about it. I mean, come on! The only one I fantasize about is Brad Pitt! And you know there ain’t a chance in hell of that happening before the pigs start flying by my window. Brad only visits me in my dreams and he always has babies and women with big lips in two. I need to get that one analyzed, huh?
Moving Right along…
Where was I? Oh yeah, before the tangent I was explaining my undying devotion to housework and how much I am the very image of Donna Reed, right down to the heels an pearls while making meatloaf. I know lack of organization is a main theme around here (hence, flylady) but I have to tell you that ADHD on the brain can be just as deadly. And y’all who have met me know I can be a wee bit hyper. Allow me to rephrase that. Y‘all who know me know why I am called the Energizer Bunny. And it isn’t because I sit still and keep my mouth shut. So why can’t that energy be translated to housework? Because I multi-task and I do that poorly. I get in the middle of five things and then get overwhelmed because I cannot complete ANY of them and give up and sulk and then, OH LOOK! I’ve been looking for that for months! Hey! I think I will go through the closet and gut it on my way up to get a shower! While I go downstairs to get the crockpot I WILL GET SIDETRACKED AND START GOING THROUGH DECORATIONS or rearranging toys! I’ve been meaning to laminate those PECS for weeks! Let’s plug it in and forget about it until later and then laminate them after I’ve gotten the toothbrushes out!
Yup. I get distracted. Here is something that keeps me on track, when I remember to print it. This saved my life for the past three years:
Best $8 I ever spent. I thought staying home would be a breeze. This MM calendar allows me to spend as little time as possible cleaning and as much time with the kids as I’d like. Honestly, it tells you when to wipe your doorknobs. Who DOES that? Huh? Who cleans the light-switches before you see fingerprints? That’s what I thought. So check it out. I’m going to finish my laundry.
Oh! Cobwebs! I’m gonna go get the broom!