May 4, 2007 by Marj Hatzell

I find it oddly ironic that even though I am a “Stay-at-Home-Mom” I still cannot find enough hours in the day to complete everything that truly needs to be done.  I have kids around most of the day, but there is a two-to-three hours lag in the afternoon when I can run the bulk of my errands, go to the gym, take a shower and get housework done. For some reason I am always running out of time.d

My kids are only involved in one activity at a time so that we are not overscheduled. I know that will change in the (near) future because I know Bug Boy and I know he is a miniature  copy of me. Except male.  Let’s hope he never becomes female, mmmkay?  Not that I would not love and accept him, mind you. I do love him unconditionally, I sware. Swear, even.  Anyways…

I used to become quite flustered about how little I actually completed during the day. I could not understand why I stayed home and yet got less done than my working sisters. Honestly, their houses always look better than mine. They are neater, there is less junk (I think my stove is cleaner, maybe because I barely use it and it is new) and their homes feel homier to me.  Perhaps it is my frustration with the fact that in our previous residence Darling spent his evenings using joint compound almost compulsively.  In this house we have yet to actually sand the spackle that has been there since just before we moved in. Combine that with the fact that I am a Sidetracked Home Executive (ala Flylady), getting into five projects at once, and you have a recipe for disaster. Darling’s current work schedule is just the icing on the cake. Each night this week he arrives home later than the last. All he wants to do is switch to jammies, cuddle with the kids and doze off. I cannot even chase him to the gym.

Part of my frustration stems from the suzie homemaker persona.  I want to be a Domestic Goddess in every sense of the word. My sisters jokingly call me Martha Stewart due to my craft and cooking kicks but it could not be further from the truth. I am the polar opposite of Crazy OCD Lady Martha.  My house is not neat, at least 50% of the contents are second hand or hand-me-downs and the walls are covered with spackle, holes, finger prints and chocolate.  Remind me to wipe that off.

I guess what I am getting at is that I am letting go of that ridiculous ideal and attempting to be a better me. I am going to make up my own definition of Domestic Goddess/Suzie Homemaker/SAHM and fit it to MY life. I am not going to mold and change my life to fit IT.  I am tired of living up to that standard. I am tired of putting myself up there. I am not going to do it.  I am also irked about those stupid studies they do that shows what “In the real world” moms would make.  I think this year it is around $130,000.  Know what I hate about that?  I feel that it is yet another  way to flame the Mommy Wars.  Let’s compare Moms!  Let’s make moms out to be nothing but glorified Taxi Drivers and Housekeepers!  Let’s call them awful things like SOCCER MOM!!! WAHOOO!!! Sorry, soapbox moment. But seriously, I hate that study.  They are only enabling moms like me.  They make us work harder to live up to that salary and make people like my sisters feel like shiat that they don’t stay home and make the imaginary $130,000.

Moving right along…

In the next week I am going to stick to my lists but not the clock. Except for getting the boys off to school on time and maybe making it to appointments on time, I am not going to drive myself crazy trying to get things squeezed in.  I will do what I can, when I can.  Things are already piled up so I am not concerned with that.  I am concerned with lessening the pressure I am under to be Donna Reed. So, in a way the whole “Domestic Goddess” thing is a little joke that I am participating in.  The reality of it is that I am soooooo far from a Domestic Goddess,  despite what others actually think.

So there.

The management wishes to apologize for the previous rant and would like to clarify that it in no way represents the opinions of the management.  Management would also like to hint that the fiestiness may be due to a certain hormonal event taking place in the next few days… 


5 thoughts on “Time

  1. shestartedit says:

    I also HATE those studies that say what SAHMs should make. (So glad someone else does.) So does that mean that the single mom who cleans houses 80 hours per week but earns minimum wage could earn more money if she stayed at home full time? Jeesh. Those studies make no sense to me.

    I can tell you why my house was cleaner when I worked outside the home. I couldn’t put things off because if I did we wouldn’t have any clothes to wear, or dinner to eat, etc. My problem as a SAHM is that I assume I can do a lot of things later…so then they just don’t get done at all!

  2. mcewen says:

    Best plan? Go to bed to write list at the end of the day. Include all the things that you have already completed on this day. Go to sleep.
    Wake up the next day and cross off all the things that you have already completed yesterday. Repeat as often as is necessary in order to maintain a sense of achievement.

  3. You’ve been tagged. Check my block to see how!

  4. Angela says:

    I can’t get everything done either.

  5. Trace says:

    Go M-J! I am mulling over the SAHM route and I would prefer to think of myself as a domestic goddess than a soccer mom. In my mind I picture Alice from the Brady Bunch as a soccer mom type. You know, dumpy, bad unstylish hairstyle, frumpy clothing… I do know that we can afford for me to stay home, but I don’t want my husband to think that I would have sooo much time to mop, dust, and clean. UGH!

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