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How to Have Your Housework Do Itself

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May 2, 2007 by Marj Hatzell

  1. Make sure the floor is picked up and the house is relatively straightened before husband’s arrival home
  2. Call the mortgage guy for your husband so he doesn’t have to
  3. Let the children take naps or play video games, whatever keeps the mood quiet and light at home
  4. Do not yell at or punish children before he arrives home
  5. Make a very nice dinner for your Darling Husband
  6. Do not complain about how awful the children are, tell them how good they were since they arrived home
  7. Tell him you would like to run that errand with him and the children and would also like to stop and get ice cream, but you have quite a bit of housework to do and feel that you would be overwhelmed
  8. Go and run the errands with said husband and children even though you know their promise of help will not be fulfilled
  9. Stay out for two hours, preferably past children’s bedtime
  10. On return home, hint that if the children were put to bed quickly and some housework was completed, that you would be happy to “snuggle” once they were settled and things were finished. Make sure you make this proclamation at about nine pm so that the kids are very tired
  11. Stand and watch as your dishes are done in record time, the children’s lunches are packed, their clothes are picked out, the laundry is switched and the children are dressed and read to, in less than a half hour
  12. Marvel at your husband when he comments about how difficult it is to get anything done when the children are underfoot (climbing on the counters, opening and closing the fridge, taking dishes back OUT of the dishwasher, whining about not wanting to go to bed, etc)
  13. Once the children are in bed, mention that you wish the clothes would just disappear from the bed
  14. Watch in amazement as they are quickly put away
  15. “Snuggle” with your husband.

VOILA!

2 thoughts on “How to Have Your Housework Do Itself

  1. MommyBrain says:

    LOL! This is SO TRUE! My DH commented on the lack of “snuggling” and I pointed out that by the time I do the dishes, pick up the toys, etc I’m exhausted. Imagine my surprise when all of this was completed for me the next night.

  2. Trace says:

    So THAT is the key to getting dh to pitch in? Dangle snuggling? I’ll keep that in mind.

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