March 23, 2007 by Marj Hatzell
I have been asked many times and have also read about the magic pill. You know, that hypothetical-rhetorical-silly-shouldn’t-be-dwelled-upon-question. If there was a magic pill, a cure, a tried-and-true way to make Bugaboo “normal.” Would I do it?
And the answer is…
I do not know.
You see, if someone had come to me in the beginning when we first suspected that something was going on with the boys I would have said yes. I was just starting out in this world, you know, the autism planet? I had no idea what to expect, did not know which way was up, did not really know who my children were. I was afraid, felt alone, was depressed and had a million times more questions than answers. Heck, I had NO answers. All I could think about was question mark, question mark, questions mark. I cried constantly. I was frightened. I did not want my children to have a difficult time in life.
Bug Boy is doing great. No magic pill. He receives necessary therapy, eats a well-balanced diet and now has his seizures under control. He is happy and well-adjusted. He still has his moments in school (must be first, easily led by others, difficulties with transitions) but has improved 1000% this year. His teachers have made a huge difference. It will still be a long road but I believe that he will be a normal, functioning member of society. He is happy and loved. That is all that matters to us.
Bugaboo is doing great. He is still non-verbal. He still is not potty-trained. He still is extremely hyperactive, has reflux, has bowel issues and chronic infections. He is happy and loved. He loves school and his therapists and teachers. He loves school buses. No magic pill.
But would I give him one now?
I do not know. I hope I am never faced with the decision.
If he is good enough for me now, he is good enough for me later. I love him whether or not he speaks. I love him even when he is running all over the house earning his “Doctor Destructo” nickname.
But if there was a guaranteed way to take away all of the difficult things about Autism, the self-biting, the potty issues, the nonverbal stuff, the funny noises, the crying, the sleep issues, would I do it?
I would not. I believe that giving him a magic pill would be sending the wrong message. It would be telling him that there is something WRONG with him. It would tell him that he is not got enough the way he is and therefore MUST be changed. It would tell him that we do not love him the way he is, unconditionally. That we won’t love him until he is different. What kind of message is that to send to your child? Hey kid! Your eyes are green. If you change them I will love you more! Honey, if you get that mole removed then I will love you and take care of you better! Grow to six-feet-tall and we are sooooo there!
Not in your lifetime.
Even with all of the challenges, I have to honestly tell you he is here to stay. And so are we.