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I Do Not Know What to Say

3

March 21, 2007 by Marj Hatzell

I had this glorious, well-thought-out post written in my mind, I could not wait to sit down and post it. I hurried through my morning routines, roused the sleepy Bug Boys from their cozy beds and gave them breakfast and meds. And then all heck broke loose.

Bugaboo had a global nuclear meltdown. I could not get to the bottom of it. He did not want the brown shoes, he did not want the black shoes. He did not want the wet diaper on but he would not sit still for the dry one. He did not want his coat on and yet stomped his feet and screamed to get it on. I am sitting here in front of this computer completely shell-shocked. It came out of NOWHERE. Usually I have some sort of warning or at least expect them to get upset about a variety of things. There was nothing out of the ordinary this morning, at least as far as I could see. He even cried and refused to get on the bus! He Check SpellingNEVER cries getting on the bus! He did NOT WANT TO GO. I made him. I needed him to go, I was about to totally lose it.

The teacher will call me if he does not calm down by circle time, an hour into the day. The get to school, put their things away, do free play (not his favorite part, as it is unstructured), potty time, and go over their schedules. Then they do circle time. If he is still crying I asked her to call me to get him.

Of course, today is the day that I finally decided to take care of ME. I have plans to have breakfast with my dear friend who is a great listener and still likes me even though I have kids with issues (my friends with children with disabilities can understand this one. It is the same thing that happens when you have kids and your friends don’t. They stop calling and don’t answer your calls anymore). My friend wants to talk about NORMAL LIFE and asks me questions about Autism and does not make me feel uncomfortable. Of course, she is a doctor of Psychology so perhaps that is why she is so good at it! Anyway, we plan to meet this morning.

After breakfast I was going to rescue my house, ala Flylady. I need to pick up each room, get some laundry folded, reboot the laundry and run the vacuum. I have not vacuumed since this weekend! It is AWFUL! There is still rice on the floor from last week when Ian had a throwing contest in the kitchen and I know some of it ended up in the heat vents. There are also blobs of dog hair everywhere, as Shad Roe the Dog is losing her winter coat, the inevitable Springtime ritual. My floor is covered with muddy dog prints and kid shoe prints due to the fact that NO ONE can stay out of the mud. Sigh.

When the housework is finished I am going to get my haircut! For the first time in FIVE MONTHS! Yes, I promised I would do it more often but time got away from me. I am embarrassed that the last time I had my hair cut was on my birthday. In October.

I plan on shaving and showering, too. Not that you needed to know that, but I plan on it. I might even paint my toenails.

So you see, Bugaboo’s tantrums need to stop NOW. I am praying that the bus provides the sensory input and calming that he needs to focus and get ready for school.He is on that bus for an hour. I need this time to myself!!!

3 thoughts on “I Do Not Know What to Say

  1. Mommy Brain says:

    Hugs for m-j! I won’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve had a hair cut. But my girls weighed less than half they did now… I hope you get to that and paint your toenails. Happy Spring!

  2. CryssyeR says:

    I hope you had a good day despite it’s beginning. I am rooting for ya! Did you cut your hair short, or was this a trim? How about some knitting time, do you think that would help at all?

    Oh, and when does your town have that yard sale? We need to clean out tons of toys 🙂

    Wow, hope I didn’t stress you with all the questions! Sorry about that 🙂

  3. Anonymous says:

    Oh M-J! What a crappy way to start the day. Hopefully he’ll stop crying so you can enjoy your me-day. Sending over those good vibes…

    Tracy, who’s using anonymous because I’m at work and didn’t want to log in

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