March 14, 2007 by Marj Hatzell

For those of you who have been to my house, you understand about the “window” between the boys’ rooms. For those of you who haven’t, allow me to explain.

The previous owners had three teen aged boys and a television in every room. The rooms are not huge, so in an attempt to save space in the rooms their boys came up with a clever (but horribly ugly and white-trashy) solution. The decided to cut a hole in the wall of what is now Bug Boy’s room into the closet of what is now Bugaboo’s room. That way, the boy who used to live in Bug Boy’s room could be in bed watching television, they would put it on the top shelf of Bugaboo’s closet facing into Bug Boy’s room.

Is that confusing? Did I explain it ok? Hope so.

Ok, back to the story: The hole is still there. Bugaboo used to be in Bug Boy’s room with the cutout in his wall. We did not like him in that room because his window is directly over a very long drop to the ground and we felt it was dangerous, not to mention his room was further from ours. So a few months ago we switched Bug Boy and Bugaboo, so Bug Boy is now in the room with the hole in the wall and Bugaboo is in the room with the hole in the closet. After a few weeks in that room Bugaboo began climbing onto his dresser, breaking the baby locks and pulling the drawers out like stairs. We bought straps to bolt his dresser to the wall but decided that it would be safer just to put the dresser in the closet. It is a standard baby dresser, longer than it is tall, cut out for the changing area that we never used, cheesy wood (don’t ever by a crib-to-college set, you never want the set after toddlers are done with it unless you paid $$$ for a solid oak or well made set) and stuff that I want to get rid of. Anywho, guess what? Bugaboo began climbing on the dresser to get to his fish lamp, which we had placed on the closet shelf so that he would stop ripping the plug out of the wall. We had it on the shelf and ran the cord through the hole and into Bug Boy’s room to plug in. Once he began climbing up there we contemplated removing the dresser altogether and eventually moved the fish lamp out of his room, since he wouldn’t go to sleep with the light on. We left the dresser intact.

At some point we knew we’d get around to drywalling the hole in since it is unsightly and strange and has outlived its usefulness. We have yet to paint (or finish with joint compound, for that matter) and knew we’d get to it when the drywall phase was being worked on, which we hope to do this spring. It just has not been a priority, like floods in our backyard and failing appliances. You know, real life got in the way in the past eighteen months. It never occurred to us that the hole would need to be boarded up SOONER rather than LATER.

We are really good at procrastinating these days. After eight years of fixing up a one hundred-year-old house, we are tired of home improvement.

We knew Bugaboo would climb up into the hole and watch Bug Boy and laugh at him, and Bug Boy would throw things at Bugaboo to get him down. We kept saying, “We need to do this next week!” Tonight became next week!

You know what happened already, don’t you???? So I can stop now, ’cause you already know.

Just kidding.

After putting the boys to bed this evening we settled on the couch and I almost immediately began dozing. My back is still hurting and I am exhausted. A few minutes after they were in bed we heard some loud noises, Bug Boy’s door opening and many footsteps approaching us. Bug Boy burst into the Family room and blurted out, “Mom! Dad! We have a problem!”

Bugaboo was right behind him. Completely Nekkid. No footies. No diaper. Nothing.

He jumped up and down and looked absolutely pleased as punch. Quite proud of himself, really. We did our best to stifle the hysterics we were feeling and through the hands clapped over our mouths (and tears sliding down our face in fits of laughter) we told the kids we were going back upstairs. We were actually afraid of what we would find, but thank goodness he had already produced a bowel movement today. His room was, however, covered in little puddles. Yup, his bed, two spots on the floor, his dresser and half of the clothes hanging in his closet were covered with pee. Bug Boy even helped us strip and remake the bed, clean up the pee and move the dresser out of his closet. They are now back in bed and (we hope) asleep.

Bugaboo did undress himself last evening and I heard him crying in frustration so I went to check on him. It turns out that he had stripped himself (a regular thing around here, nekkid Bugaboo at all hours of the day) and was attempting to put a diaper on himself and cried because he couldn’t quite get it right. Poor kid!

Word to the wise: If you are ever faced with the decision to purchase a home that may or may not have a hole cut into the wall (though artfully framed in with trim) and have active boys with advanced motor skills or a Harry-Houdini-monkey-of-a-son or a child with autism who likes to strip nekkid and pee and climb through windows, do not buy the house. Or at least have the foresight and initiative to board up the hole. Stop procrastinating already! DO IT!

2 thoughts on “Surprise!

  1. CryssyeR says:

    Oh my! I am laughing and shocked at the same time. Laughing is winning, though, ’cause I can just picture it. I hope your back is better!

  2. Lucy T says:

    So glad I have seen this hole or I would have wondered what the heck you were talking about!

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