March 8, 2013 by Marj Hatzell
Day after day I sit here staring at the screen and I write nothing. Or actually, I type nothing, since you couldn’t pay me to write stuff by hand (fine motor issues much?). It’s not for lack of wanting to. It isn’t a lack of trying. Time management? Not my strongest skill but I could honestly find five minutes to slap SOMETHING together. Anything. Heck, I blog about my toenail color. And I do interpretive dances. And yet tens of you still come back everyday!
It’s not like there’s a lack of content in my life. I could blog about my floors (or lack thereof), my dogs (Daisy gained NINE POUNDS. Time for doggy Jenny Craig!) or my backyard (this rain sucks. You can guess what my not-really-floors look like.)
Or my recent roof issues.
Or Bugaboo having the best handstand in his gymnastics class (with typical peers, by the way.)
Or Bug Boy making the honor roll again and crying over a B+ because he is his mother’s child and puts a ridiculous amount of pressure on himself to live up to ridiculous self-expectations.(hmmmmmm sounds familiar?)
And there’s more. So much more. So much more I could share so much more I cannot share. And THAT is the problem. There’s so much I am overwhelmed. In every aspect of my life. I’m in full-fledged survival mode, getting the basics done each day and everything else over and above is gravy. If the clothes are clean, the house is somewhat tidy and there’s food on the table I consider it a successful day.
This is where I admit that Ive been taking care of everyone else and there’s no time left over for me. And yes, I’m aware I need to take care of myself. But trust me when I say there’s been a level of sh*t hitting the fan like no other and there ain’t no way it’s gonna happen.
I’m making small efforts here and there. I finally made a hair appointment (six months later) and got the PT evaluation in so I can start PT next week and get my back healed and in shape. Someone has to keep up with Bugaboo! It’s like running a marathon, but more strenuous. I plan on calling the psych today for an adjustment in my meds (S.A.D. for the win!) and I’ve been spending more time walking and stretching. I’m getting there.
And I’ve gotten the boys squared away. No more broken bones! Things seem to be going back to normal. Well, you know, as normal as it gets here. We did opt to add an ADHD med back in for the Bugaboo because, well, it’s spring and he’s pretty restless and Elopement Season is in high gear right now. We’re shooting for NO CALLS to the police this year. I think that’s attainable, no?
So, dear reader(s), I’m trying. I’ll attempt to get something on this here blog once in a while. Maybe a pop quiz or a reader participation post. Perhaps you can help me pick wall colors or look at pictures of my dogs. In any event, IMA TRY.
In the meanwhile, this is the extent of my midlife crisis right here: