Lately Bugaboo has been giving me a run for my money. Since Christmas break he has been a teensy bit off schedule and that translates to a few weeks to readjust to being back in school. This phenomenon never ceases to boggle my mind since he CRAVES the schedule and the routine. So why is he so off schedule when he gets back to his regular schedule? Beats me.
All I know is he was back for a whopping two days and then Thursday came home, sat on the couch and didn’t move for about three hours. When I realized he had been sitting there for THREE. WHOLE. HOURS. without moving? I dug the thermometer out. My kids + not moving = prolly coming down with the plague. They never, ever stop moving. Even in their sleep. I don’t like sleeping with them at all, by the way. I usually wake up with a knee in the lady parts or an elbow hitting my nose or a head to my back. It’s a painful experience.
Now, getting Bugaboo’s temperature is akin to putting a cat in bathwater. I managed to get it somewhat, it was around 101-ish. BINGO! Fever. Faaaaaabulous. And he was just off for eleven days straight! And will be home again! Because the next day was Friday, and he wasn’t going to go back to school until AT LEAST Monday. Needless to say, I was thrilled.
Then I remembered: when my kids run fevers they don’t move. Hello! He’s not going to move! At all! I CAN SIT DOWN FOR AN EXTENDED LENGTH OF TIME!!! I can do crossword puzzles! Or read or watch tv! It was like Christmas all over again! Without the presents and cookies but still! Sitting! And sitting is winning! TIGER BLOOD!
And there he sat. Until Saturday night, when he suddenly sat straight up, looked at me quizzically and jumped outta bed with both feet and scampered off. Almost as if I flipped a light switch. Fever broke! Then he was back to his usual antics.
His usual antics? Well, the pica is at an all-time high at the moment. This is typical for the days following a school break. He has been picking on his socks lately. Actually, I lie. He has been shredding his socks for about a month. it came out of the blue, this picking holes and pulling threads. And it isn’t just his socks, oh no! His shirts, sweat pants, bedding…nothing is spared. He finds a loose thread and cannot resist the temptation. And I didn’t realize he was eating them, per se, until Saturday night.
See, Bugaboo is routinely, um, irregular? Stopped up? And so BMs are a major event at our house (Like, OMG! HE WENT! HOOOORAAAAY!). And Saturday night he put a pullup on himself, stood in front of the toilet and went. Then he got wipes out and proceeded to set the scene for me to clean him up. Smart boy! Making connections, right? That’s a good sign, right? Uh. Sure. Until I started cleaning him up. And he had…well, strings. Like, coming out of him. Stuck, like. Long ones. And I had to pull them out and stuff. Yes. This was so much fun.
Y’all don’t know what you’re missing. You haven’t LIVED until you’ve pulled sock threads out of your kids rear end. It’s the new pink.
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I’ve pulled my own long hairs out of my dog’s butt. Does that count? Do I get to be one of the cool kids!?
That’s SO COOOOOL!!!!
Thanks for the laugh. My 9-year-old w/ ASD has been home sick since Wednesday evening. The fever (virus!) lasted Wed – Sun. Took him back to ped yesterday due to super scuzzy nose and head banging (a new behavior). Congestion is in lungs. Interestingly – the scuz does not drain out the nose nor does he have a cough. We “think” this is due to his cleft. 13-year-old told me this morning that I was keeping him home and missing work just to make her life misserable.
Fun, isn’t it?
um, wow…just…wow.
May i never be as cool as you are.
(and glad the fever broke and he’s feeling better.)
You are already cooler.
Sounds like fun! And yet so familiar.
Before my mother asks me how I am, her first question is: Did Norrin go?
And you haven’t lived if you’ve ever gotten dressed ready to rush to the ER – only to realize, oh it’s just red crayon…
GOOD TIMES!!
Black crayon!!!!
Oh, my…that’s some funny stuff.
My husband and I keep a running list of “Things we never thought we’d have to say/do” like, “No coloring the inside of the dryer” or “Please don’t pee into the vent” but I think you win that contest!
Pee on the. Heat vent is my FAVE! I also thought I would never say, “get down from on top of the garage.” and ” please don’t lick the floor at target”
I had to pull one of those long icicle silver plasticy strands out of my mom’s dog’s butt one time because she was running around the yard screeching as loud as she could because a turd was chasing her. Fun times catching that one. LMAO
I also love pulling shit out of my dogs ass. Awesome.
I hope I’m never as cool as you. I’ve spent the last 2 years between allergy and GI and taking samples to the lab. Those poor lab girls. When I see them now, I tell them, “No poop this time. Promise.” Thankfully allergy finally found some answers without me having to play in anymore poop.
Poo samples are the new pink!
Well now I know why some times it takes My David so long in the bathroom maybe he’s got string he hasn’t let me in there for a couple of years now so I haven’t seen anything like that. He usually goes every few days so he’s regular just not normal regular but that would be strange is something was normal right.
I hope there’s no string! If there is, fun for you!
We tried pacifiers very briefly with the boys. They always went missing. Two days later I would find it in the dogs poo. No more pacifiers!
I have never had the joy of pulling strings out of my kids butt, but I have pulled a rubber band out of cat’s butt, and from the dogs’ butts, over the years, the following: What was left of my green lace panties; the fiber of many tampons; whatever non-disposable plastic there is in a disposable diaper; dental floss; long human hair; grass. Its truly interesting what will pass through a digestive system whole.
Oh gawd, and I thought waiting for change to come out was bad. You win.
I hope he’s still feeling well. This year has been horrid for bugs and colds and stuff.
Thank goodness, I haven’t had to wait for change. At least, I don’t think it’s in there. Oh gawk, now I am panicked…
So I just started reading your blog recently. I love it. haha! There is something about reading another mom’s story and realizing that finally! I’m not the only one who’s pulled awful-unspeakable things from my child’s rear end. Glad your little guy feels better!
Hey! Strength in numbers, right? Believe me, my life is never boring…
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