‘Tis the season! What are you going to get the Domestic Goddess in your life? If you are searching for something superb to put under the tree Christmas morning, then look no further! Here are my picks for the best domesticky presents, ever. (Disclaimer: Not everyone enjoys receiving what I receive for gifts. I’m not a makeup and perfume girl, I’m a cookware and appliance kind of girl. And no, not THAT kind of appliance. Perv.)
Kapoosh Knife Block
How could you not love something with the name KAPOOSH? I mean, it’s fun to say! It’s like when you’re playing Star Wars with your eight-year-old and making fake gun and light saber noises. KAPOOSH! Or when the door opens in Star Trek. Except that’s SCHWEE! Anyways, this is the coolest knife block ever. I have one whole set of Henckels knives but all the little holes are reserved for certain sizes. What to do with all of the single knives I’ve purchased? My beloved Santoku knives (or, as my husband calls them, Count Duku knives.) can’t be relegated to a drawer, y’all. That would be sacrilegious. Enter the KAPOOSH! It’s versatile, holds any knife and IT’S FUN TO SAY! KAPOOSH! Keeps blades sharper, any size knife will fit. This knife block retails for anywhere from $20 to $40. Use your BB&B coupon to get it 20% off!
The Kitchenaid Artisan Stand Mixer
Dood. If you haven’t gotten one of these for the lady in your life, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? You cannot be a domestic engineer without one of these babies. They have many styles, colors and versions to choose from. Just don’t get a classic. They stink! Too basic, not enough attachments and the wattage is way low, resulting in motor burn out. TRUST ME. Artisan or up, babe. That’s where it’s at. And? If you are super-duper lucky you might catch one on clearance at Tarzhay, and watch it for a few weeks until there is ONE LEFT and then snatch it up, even though it is Target Red and then it’s marked down to $139. Ahhh…memories. I even have a KA blender. And a KA food processor. And a KA dishwasher (BOSCH! As IF!)! And a KA fridge! And…and…that’s all. But I’d love more, I love KA that much. LERVE, even. The Artisan Stand Mixer USUALLY retails for anywhere from $200-500. Get out and get one. Unless she doesn’t cook and hates kitchen appliances, in which case you’re screwed if you buy it. She’ll make you sleep on the couch for MONTHS, moron!
Nikon D-something camera
Oh Nikon. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love you with every click and beep. I love you with every flash you make. I love you to the depth and breadth and height. AND YET I DO NOT OWN ONE. But someday, I will. Mark my words! IT’S MINE. Anyways, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system can tell you that I have many, many, many friends that own them. I also have played with it at the camera shops a few hundred times. The pictures on a digital SLR are amazing, cannot be beat. This will be a great thing for me your goddess to have eventually. You know, when she starts her hobby of amateur prOn wildlife photography. Me? I take pictures of my dogs. Too many. And not enough of my own kids. The current retail for Nikon D40 is anywhere from $400-$500. And the rest are waaaaay more. Ouch. Sigh.
Victoria’s Secret ANYTHING
C’mon, I know it’s embarrassing to go in there. Most guys sit on the bench outside of my local one whilst their lady-friends are perusing panties inside the pink pleasure palace. But dood, the Body Ipex Full-coverage bra comes in, like, THIRTY PATTERNS. And they are super hawt. And comfy. And boost the girls to heights not seen since before babes. And sometimes not even then. Get her a gift cert. If you buy her butt floss, she’s gonna be pissed. If you insist on buying something, get her cotton or flannel pjs. Vicky’s has a way of making them look sexy. And comfy. And yummy. C’mon! Get thee to a Vicky’s! Retail price: Whatever you’re willing to pay to get lucky, Romeo.
A Third-World Country
C’mon, for the girl who has everything, what else is there? I mean, she’s already got the luxury flat in the 1st district of Paris. She already OWNS Prada. Get her something she’d never think of! In all seriousness, THIS is a great charity. We did it one year amongst family members and I’ve never been so happy to receive pigs and chickens as I was that year. I mean, I get goats and I don’t even have to deal with the smell! It’s a win-win! Retail price: Whatever you can give. They have prices from $10 on up. You can get a batch of baby chicks for a farmer starting out for $20. Also Also? There are tons of area charities that are in desperate need of your help. Giving is down. WAAAAY down. They’ll take anything you can spare, from a can of vegetables to an unwrapped $5 toy to a few dollars thrown into a basket. It’ll warm your heart and hopefully it’ll become contagious. Pay it forward, yo.
Runners up: Xbox 360 and PS3 (yes, I really want one. Or both, as the case may be). A droid. An iPhone. A laptop. A KINDLE, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! I REALLY WANT A KINDLE!