Tiny Violins are Playing

Posted on February 22, 2012 by

Bug Boy plays the violin. Well, he takes lessons at school and enjoys it and sometimes he EVEN PRACTICES!  And it doesn’t always sound like fighting cats! But he enjoys it muchly so we persevere and this summer he plans on taking percussion lessons so he can be in band AND orchestra!

Sniff, sniff. My little nerd. So proud.

Anyways, when you’re a kid and you play violin you start out with smaller violins. Like, he started with a quarter size and then worked up to a half-size and now has a three-quarter size. He had the half-size for about six months and he needed to go up to the three-quarter because OH WHAT DO YOU KNOW, HE GREW. Kids do that, it turns out.

Bug Boy started asking me in November about taking the violin rental back to the shop and exchanging it for the next size. You don’t buy one until they are full size, see, because they change often and it’s kinda a waste of money? Like sorta? Anywho, he asked. Then stuff happened. Then more stuff happened. And finally, this weekend, my poor child was all, “MOOOOOM PLEEEEASE take me to get the new violin!  AND ROSIN!  I NEED IT!” And since he has this fancy-schmancy concert deal to play in, I obliged.

He went to school yesterday and pulled it out to play it for orchestra practice and the chin rest was broken. Ugh.  So back to the shop we had to go. Last night after dinner I rallied the troops, loaded everyone in the car (this is harder than it seems with my kids. It’s like a three-ring circus) and told Bug Boy to grab his violin, and yes, you DO have to go exchange it, it’s your violin!  You have to tell them why! I don’t play violin!  And no, you can’t bring the iPad…oh fine. Bring it. Your brother might need it, it’s charged.

We get to the store, thirty minutes away, he steps out of the car and suddenly a look of horror washes over his face (you know where this is going, right?)…

He forgot the violin. You know, the whole reason I dragged them out on a school night?  The violin we have been TRYING to replace for three months? THE VERY SAME ONE.

And Mommy and Daddy were not amused. So today I’m being a super-awesome-nice-Mommy (better win awards for this one, yo) and I’m enabling him taking the violin to be exchanged while he’s at school.  Because it will never get done otherwise and it could be another three months or more and by then he will be in a full-size. And then I’ll be the Worst Mother in the Whole Wide World. Again.

(btw, if you look over there—–> please notice I added some boxes and stuff and I also added the link to my once-defunct-now-resurrected dog blog, Crazy Dog Lady. Plz like me nao!)

Posted in Blah, Blah, Blah, Bug Boy | 2 Comments

If That Were my Kid

Posted on February 16, 2012 by

Parenting is hard.  Parenting kids like mine is a whole new level of awesomeness. And while I don’t consider my job any more difficult than any other parent out there, the truth is that Special Needs Parenting is a bit different, see.  Just different. Not better, not worse.  It’s all how you look at it, I suppose.

One thing that irks me, makes my blood boil and makes me scream on the inside?

When folks say things like, “If that were my kid I would ______.”  (Insert well-meaning but often ignorant comment here)

If that were my kid, I’d discipline him.

If that were my kid I would beat his ass.

If that were my kid I wouldn’t let her get away with behavior like that.

If that were my kid I would MAKE him stay in his room all night.

If that were my kid she’d sit at the table and eat what I serve her, whether she liked it or not.

If that were my kid he would be strapped to that chair.

If that were my kid she wouldn’t be playing outside until that was cleaned up.

If that were my kid he wouldn’t be allowed to go anywhere dressed like that.

If that were my kid she would have to order something new off the menu even if she didn’t eat it because I said so.

If that were my kid he wouldn’t be stimming/clapping/humming/hopping like that.

If that were my kid she’d be picking those toys up or she doesn’t play with them again.

And naturally these types of comments come from people who don’t have special kids. Most of ‘em.

Because we spoil them. And we don’t discipline them. And we don’t parent. And we don’t care. And we’re lazy. And ignorant. And all our kids need is someone forceful and authoritative to come into their lives with old-fashioned discipline.(OPPOSITE DAY!)

Because years of therapy and behavior specialists and doctors and teachers and wrap around and hard work and evaluations aren’t good enough. Strangers (and Internet Trolls) CERTAINLY know better. Heck, sometimes they aren’t even strangers. Sometimes these comments come from relatives. And friends. And neighbors.

You know, people who aren’t living it every single freaking day.

I get it, you know. I know people feel helpless. They want to help. They want to make suggestions. Sometimes they want to make it all better for you because they are sad for you. Sometimes they are just being asshats and big meany doo-doo heads. Sometimes they just want to interfere or be controlling. Sometimes they don’t mean well at all and just wanna stick that knife in further AND twist it.

But I’ve got a rebuttal.

If that were my kid, I’d hug him when he cried or tantrummed because I know it’s overwhelming for him.

If that were my kid I’d find a way to soothe her when her eyes go wide with fright and the lights are too bright.

If that were my kid I’d help him lessen his anxiety and transition more easily so he can enjoy himself.

If that were my kid I’d offer his mom some assistance because I’ve totally been there and I know the power of one kind word or deed.

If that were my kid I’d hand her a sensory toy or book to distract her from the pain and discomfort.

If that were my kid I’d take him out of that room when it got to be too much for him.

If that were my kid I’d love her they way she is and not try to change her.

If that were my kid I’d realize he is a KID first.

If that were my kid I’d realize she isn’t doing this on purpose. She can’t help it.

If that were my kid I’d be happy he attempted to play.

If that were my kid I’d be happy she at least touched the food.

If that were my kid I’d cherish every step, every moment, every little thing they did because I know.

I know what it’s like.  That IS my kid.

 

 

Posted in Autism and Stuff, Blah, Blah, Blah, Soapbox | 22 Comments

Valentine Vlog

Posted on February 14, 2012 by

Hiya!

Oops, I did it again. Made a vlog. And I ramble. And can’t sit still and I move all over the place and twirl my hair and stuff.

This is why I’m not on tv. I mean, I’ve been on tv, but for a living. Like stuff.

Anywho, watch it here. And pay no attention when I try to show you the tree because I totally screw it up.

 

 

 

Also? I made a purty picture because I love memes (NOT):

I MADE THIS!

Posted in Blah, Blah, Blah, Fun with the Internets, Holidays and Gatherings, Just for fun and stuff, Memes, Why Yes! I AM insane! | Tagged | 3 Comments

One Man, Errrrr, WOMAN Wolf Pack

Posted on February 9, 2012 by

You know, before I had kids I never, ever wanted to be alone. I despised it. I grew up in a large family so noise, chaos and people around constantly were all I knew. Even if no one was home there was a cat or dog or bird or hamster to keep us company.  Preferably a dog.

When I moved out and married The Guy I Live With it was more of the same. I didn’t like being alone. I didn’t want to go home to a empty house. We had a cat for a short time (who crawled off and died, and I am totally not a cat person but cried when this damn cat died. Dammit) and when she kicked the bucket I finally relented and let The Guy I Live With get a dog. I had dogs my whole life, I knew how much work they could be and even though I loved them, I wasn’t sure we were ready. Enter Shad Roe the Wonder Dog.

I was pregnant a month later.

I haven’t been alone since, really.

The funniest part about it is I have finally learned to be Alone. It took me several years to realize why I didn’t want to be “alone.” Except I don’t consider it being alone. I consider it being with myself.

Why didn’t I like being “with myself?” I was afraid of my own thoughts. Being by myself meant I had to THINK about things.

I am easily distracted and have ADHD (NO! YOU DON’T SAY) and being alone meant I had to organize things or else I couldn’t function. Ha! ORGANIZE! HAHAHA!

Flash forward a few years. I loooooove to be by/with myself. Love it. As in, cherish IT, count the moments until I can have IT. Mourn on Fridays when IT disappears, happy to see IT again on Monday morning.

What inspired this change? Not sure if it was having kids (not so likely) or having special kids (pretty sure this is the answer right here) but I learned to cherish the quiet moments, to enjoy the sound of the clock ticking or the snoring dog. I learned to enjoy the sound of silence. I learned to be fine with my thoughts and to process them. I learned to argue with myself but if I go out in public that kinda scares people so I try not to do that so often. Just sayin’.

Especially fun? Shopping with  myself. Because no one wants to shop with me anymore. Ahem.

Anyways, I have a few hours to myself today and I plan on using them verrrrrry wisely. It’s Friday, which is like my Monday. Except I get Monday through Friday rolled into two days, times ten with a remainder of three, etc, etc and the real Monday is my Friday and then I want to sleep for a few days. Until my Monday. Know what I mean? Confused?

Yeah. Me, too.

 

Posted in Blah, Blah, Blah, DG, Why Yes! I AM insane! | 5 Comments

I Love to be Interviewed. No Really, I do.

Posted on February 6, 2012 by

One of the neato keen things about this bloggy stuff is that I get do things I don’t think I would get to do if it weren’t for the magic of the Internets. I have been interviewed by local tv stations twice for little human interest stories and I have been interviewed for blogs and websites. The latest interview was published today on The Thinking Persons Guide to Autism, one of my favorite sites. They have a dandy book out, by the way.

Anyways. I love to be interviewed. I love helping out grad students with their research papers. We have volunteered several summers in a row to have students come and observe our kids at home. We always say yes when we are visiting a specialist and they ask if a student can sit in. If someone needs information to write a paper? We are there. And I don’t do this because I want my kids to be guinea pigs.

I do it so we can show people what it is really like to be like, well, US. Sure, they aren’t living our lives but they can certainly get a glimpse onto our day-to-day operations. But I don’t want assumptions. I don’t want misconceptions. We don’t need perpetuated stereotypes. Or pity. Or negativity.

The only way to cure ignorance is with information, see. A little education goes a long way.

Now, I realize not everyone lives the way we do. I know folks have it worse than we do. Heck, we have it pretty good, in my humble opinion. But It doesn’t help our case any if we don’t share. The more people we can educate, the better I feel. Even if I only change one person’s perception I will have done a good job.

Wanna know what’s funny? No? Well, I will enlighten you anyway because I am awesome like that. What’s funny is I originally felt that I needed a life outside of autism and started this whole blogging thing seven years ago for that escape. I did it to have a place to express myself and keep the whole special needs thing separate. Funny how in time your perception changes, isn’t it? What I realized is that autism is part of my life (uh, duh?) And while it isn’t my whole, entire life and my primary focus (being the bestest mommy in the whole wide world is. Well, that and avoiding being the worst Mother EVER like I was yesterday) it is part of me. It’s part of our story. And even though I don’t wanna be all AUTISM 24/7/365 it will have to be mentioned once in a while, right? Just like my colon. But I reserve that special TMI for vlogs.

You are so very welcome.

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Posted in Autism and Stuff, Blah, Blah, Blah, DG, Fun with the Internets, Ten Kinds of Hawesome, Why Yes! I AM insane! | 2 Comments

No Vlogs Today. But I Have Other Stuffs for You to Enjoy

Posted on February 2, 2012 by

I don’t know if you noticed, but I desperately need a blog redesign and in my spare time I plan on doing that.

HEEE HEEE HEEE HOOOO HOOO HOOO!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

That was a joke. I don’t have spare time. Silly.

Anyways, since I’m still technically a member of the “Too Stoopid to Say No Club” I tend to overcommit myself and make myself do stuff. Mostly because I have ADHD and can’t sit still so I must keep busy. Either that or I rearrange furniture, paint walls and compulsively shop. So to prevent that, I do stuffs.

One of the stuffs I do that I LOVE is this Blog stuff. I have this wildly unsuccessful blog! And also? I blog at Aiming Low, my favorite place on the Internets. It’s funny stuff. And not-so-funny stuff. But I do it mostly because:

  • I do very little JUST for myself
  • I’m doing this JUST for myself
  • It’s fun
  • All the cool kids do it

But you prolly didn’t know that because I only mention it once in a while, unless you are following my FaceSpace page. And even though I have it on the sidebar over there ——————->  you wouldn’t know because I sucked at my last sucktastic blog design and basically used the fastest and easiest template.  Some day I’m going to COMPLETELY do this site over. I have my own domain and stuff, why not? Either that, or I’ll pay someone else to do it, because let’s face it, I also keep talking about redoing my basement, gutting the closets and redesigning my garden beds and we’ve lived her six-going-on-seven-years and that’s only slightly shorter than I’ve had this blog and it’s never gotten done.

Anywho…

If you aren’t following THE DOMESTIC GODDESS at Facespace, you are making unicorns cry. And you know, they were already left off the ark and that’s just cruel so do us a favor and follow me.

And on twitter.

And google+.

And you might as well read me on Aiming Low. But be careful because I talk about TMI stuff. So don’t eat when you read.

And read other Aiming Low stuff because it’s fun.

Now excuse me, I’m going to work on this blog thing.

Posted in Blah, Blah, Blah, DG, Fun with the Internets, Why Yes! I AM insane! | Leave a comment

More TMI in a Vlog! You’re Welcome!

Posted on February 1, 2012 by

Observations:

  • I still didn’t do my eyebrows, legs or toenails. Hope the GI didn’t mind.
  • I am really, really looking forward to the braces I am getting so I can get rid of rabbit teeth and canine fangs for good.
  • I am carrying baggage under my eyes. Sheesh.
  • My face looks so much longer and wider on camera. Weird.
  • I say, “uh” a lot and ramble.
  • It’s much shorter this time.

Enjoy:

 

Also? Still picking at my ears and playing with my hair. I must learn not to do that.

Posted in Blah, Blah, Blah, TMI | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments